I’d call Ranger and see if he wanted to run with me. Then he’d be over here first thing tomorrow and make me go out and get some exercise. Yo, Ranger said, answering the phone. His voice was husky, an...
It's the twenty-first century. I told Tank. Women drive.Only in my bed, Tank said. Never in my car.
If she wasn't standing there, I'd grab you and shake you until the fillings fell out of your teeth.Police brutality.It has nothing to do with being a cop. It has to a do with being Italian.
If she had any sense at all, she’d clean out her desk and look for another job. Something safe and sane, like catching alligators or looking for land mines in Afghanistan.
I was watching television and I saw how you stick your fingers in a person's eyes to slow them down.Grandma Mazur
I turned the key in the ignition and pulled away from the curb. What will you do if you see Mo? I’ll snatch the little fucker up by his gonads and squash him into the trunk of my car.
I took the stool next to him, raising an eyebrow at the coffee and cruller on the counter. Thought you weren't into internal pollution, I said. Lately Ranger'd been on a health food thing. Props, Rang...
I thought you were trying to lose weight. Yeah, but I don’t want to waste away to nothing. And anyway, everyone knows you don’t gain weight on Sunday. Sunday’s a free day.
I rolled my eyes so far into the back of my head I saw myself thinking.
I rented Ghostbusters, my all-time favorite inspirational movie. I picked up some microwave, popcorn, a KitKat, a bag of bite-sized Reese's peanut butter cups, and a box of instant hot chocolate with...
I ordered a pitcher of beer, Morelli said. Hope that’s okay. It’s perfect. I need it now. Morelli whistled through his teeth, and everyone jumped in the restaurant. He raised his hand and mouthed Beer...
I mostly eat peanut butter sandwiches. Peanut butter and banana, peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter and potato chips, peanut butter and olives, and peanut butter and marshmallow goo. So sue me, I...
I met a real looker. He picked me up at the two dollar slot machines, so you know he's no cheapskate.Grandma Mazur
I guess that’s where I heard of her. There’s lots of people in that seniors’ club, and I don’t go to the meetings all the time. I can only take so much of old people. If I want to see loose skin I can...
I grew up with Morelli, lost my virginity to him, ran over him with my father’s Buick in a fit of justifiable rage, and now years later he’s my boyfriend.
I felt my cell phone buzz, and I looked at the screen. Ranger. Your GPS just went blank, Ranger said when I answered. The car exploded. There was a beat of silence. Rafael won the pool, Ranger said. A...
I attributed the incidence to temporary insanity, and in my own defense, I'd like to say I haven't run over anyone since.
Holy Mary, mother of God, my mother said. You were being chased by Richard Nixon, Bill Clinton, and a rabbit.
Hey. I know dirty.Vinnie
Her oldest brother, Lowell, usually sent her a conspiracy-laden tirade about the government being in cahoots with Big Oil, the Russians, and the Taliban, in no particular order.