I was pressed for time, so all I was able to whip up was deviled eggs with a dollop of Tsar Nicoulai caviar on top, a selection of fruit and artisanal cheeses, and sauteed Dover sole with lemon and ca...
I took the stool next to him, raising an eyebrow at the coffee and cruller on the counter. Thought you weren't into internal pollution, I said. Lately Ranger'd been on a health food thing.Props, Range...
I met a real looker. He picked me up at the two dollar slot machines, so you know he's no cheapskate.Grandma Mazur
I looked around. I didn’t see Grandma. She was in the bedroom, and she’d mentioned the bathroom, and Oh my God! Babe! Ranger shouted from the bathroom. Come get your grandmother. Ranger was standing i...
I looked around the lot. Is he dead anywhere nearby? I really wanted a no on this one. I’d already had my millennium quota of dead. You see that big bush by the Dumpster? Jackie said. Yeah. You see th...
I know that the Federal Reserve vault holds more gold than Fort Knox. Fort Knox only holds about four thousand six hundred tons of gold. The Federal Reserve vault holds approximately seven thousand. T...
I got a body stuck to my windshield! Lula yelled. I can’t drive like this! I can’t get my wipers to work. How am I supposed to drive with a dead guy on my wipers?
Holy bejeezus, Lula said, eyes bugged out, looking at the building. This is scaring the crap out of me. This is like where Dracula would live if he didn’t have any money and was a crack-head. I bet it...
He tucked my hair behind my ear, his fingertips brushing feather light across my temple, his thumb at the line of my jaw. I have my own team.
He squinted at me. What are you wearing? Is that some new form of birth control?
He looked just like himself. Didn't look like he was living in dark alleys. He was clean, fresh shaven. Didn't look hungry. Had on clean clothes. Seemed to be alone. Was a little, um, upset. Said I wa...
Has it ever occurred to you that you might be delusional?'That's what the psychiatrist said, but I think he's wrong. There's an evil flying pizza out there, and it's got Brenda's name on it.
Ferrell.
Every two feet there seemed be another Leonidas chocolate café, the Starbucks of Belgium. The Leonidas cafés were inescapable, so she surrendered and got herself a hot chocolate.
Every man in my organization knows you and understands that you’re my personal property,
Diesel sucked air. You keep fondling me like that, and I might have to marry you.I'm not fondling you. I'm looking for the keys!Could you look a little more gently? You're scaring my boys.
Cute, Ranger repeated. That just dropped my testosterone level.
Carmen? I can hear her release the safety on her Glock when I get within two feet of her.
Babe, nothing’s been happening in my bed, and no one’s going to see your underpants in this meeting unless you go goofy.
And then I had to decide if I wanted shoes that kicked ass, or were good for ass-kickin', on account of there's a difference.