My mother was in the kitchen ironing. Physically she’s a younger version of my Grandma Mazur, and physically I’m a younger version of my mother. Mentally and emotionally my mother is on her own. Lunac...
My mother had been slicing up the chicken. She took a drumstick and dropped it on the floor. She kicked it around a little, picked it up and put it on the edge of the plate.There, she said, we'll give...
My feeling on rain is that it should only occur at night when people are sleeping. At night, rain is cozy. During the day, rain is a pain in the gumpy.
My feeling is if God wanted me to pick up dog poop he would have made it look like diamonds and smell like roses.
My favored exercise was walking the length of the mall to get to Cinnabon.
Mr. Morganthal shuffled out of the elevator and winked at me. Hey, hootchie-mamma, he said. Want a hot date? He was ninety-two and lived on the third floor, next to Mrs. Delgado. You’re too late, I to...
Morelli smiled. It could have been Jenny Ragucci. That makes much more sense. I had good luck with sluts.I looked over at him.All in the past, Morelli said. I'm a cupcake man now.Whoa, dude, Mooner sa...
Morelli grabbed the front of my shirt, pulled me to him, and kissed me. It was a great kiss, but I didn't know what the heck it meant. It seemed to me a breaking up kiss would have had less tongue.
Mañoso grinned. This is gonna be fun. This here’s gonna be like Professor Higgins and Eliza Doolittle Does Trenton.
Lucille has me going to Sex Addicts Anonymous.''How's that working for you?' Lula asked.'It's a nightmare. I go there, and I'm in a room filled with perverts. It's like being in a bakery where everyth...
Lots of times I’m not crazy about the writing, but I keep moving ahead and somehow it gets better. The important thing is to move forward.
I’m thinking about getting a computer so I can have cybersex, Grandma said. Anybody know how that works? You go into a chat room, Valerie said. And you meet someone. And then you type dirty suggestion...
I’m telling you, it’s fucking hard to be classy, she said. T
Its always nice to have a stud muffin at the table.
In my opinion, the only good spider is a dead spider, and woman's rights aren't worth dick if they mean I can't ask a man to do my bug squashing.
If you can’t fool yourself, he said, how can you expect to fool anybody else?
If anything happened to you, I'd be so destroyed they'd have to strap me to a bed and feed me through a tube. After five or six years, I might be capable of taking care of Rex. In the interim, you sho...
I've noticed you only speak ghetto half of the time. - StephanieI'm multi-lingual, Rancher said.I followed him to the door, feeling jealous, wishing I knew a second language.
I'm underrealized, Lula said. I gotta lot of untapped potential. Yesterday my horoscope said I gotta expand my horizons. You expand any more in that dress, and you'll get yourself arrested, Connie sai...
I woke up completely entangled with Ranger.