You must be a terrible burden to your mother. I am feeling so sorry for her not to have a proper daughter.Mrs. Apusenja - To the Nines
You have to step on people’s feet and kick them in the back of the leg, Grandma said, then they move away from you.
You deserved to get run over. And besides, I barely tapped you. The only reason you broke your leg was because you panicked and tripped over your own feet.
You could always count on melted cheese to have a calming effect.
You can’t be mad at me, Ranger said. I’m cute. I might even be adorable.
You can't put cuffs on Mr. Cluck! What will the kids think?Stuart Bagget
You can trust a woman who likes s’mores, I said. It’s the gooey factor.
You bet your ass. I take pride in my appearance. She looked down and made a boob adjustment, hoisting the girls up a couple inches. You never know when Mr. Good Enough is gonna come along. I like to b...
Yeah, I’m a classy guy. Ranger scooped up a handful of popcorn. A little girl’s life is at stake. That doesn’t leave much room for ego and turf wars.
Wondering where Ranger was now, when I needed him. Why wasn’t he here, insisting on locking me up in a safe house? Now that my hamster’s cage was clean, I’d be happy to oblige.
When I was pink and clean I crawled into bed and pretended I was at Disney World.
What's with the super soaker? -StephineI had a stork of genius when you called me this morning I said what do I have to do to protect myself from the vampire? And the answer that came to me was holy w...
What's this outfit? You can't afford clothes? Are you wearing other peoples?Helen Plum
What's he doing? Mary Lou asked. What's he doing?Getting a spoon. I was was right-he went out to buy ice cream.The light blinked out, and Morelli disappeared. Mary Lou and I scuttled across Morelli's...
What is it with men and gazongas? It’s not like women got a nut fixation. It’s not like we go around looking for some guy with basketballs hangin’ down to his knees.
Uh oh, Lula said. Here comes Officer Hottie, and he don’t look happy. Morelli moved behind me and curled his fingers into the back of my jacket collar. I need to talk to you . . . outside. I wouldn’t...
Turns out, that's how it is with weddings. You just keep getting in deeper and deeper until you want to throw up.
This was the second time in less than forty-eight hours that a man stopped fondling me because his phone rang. And both times it was because someone had been killed. If I wasn’t a well-adjusted, emoti...
This thing’s giving me an eye twitch, Ranger said. Can you get the sound off? I started pressing buttons and the screen went blank. How’s that? I asked. Babe, you shut the system down. Yes, but the so...
This makes you real special, Lula said. It’s like you’re a reality show, all by yourself.