“ I was writing an earnest novel about cruises in the Caribbean and I just started writing 'Bridget Jones' to get some money, to finance this earnest work, and then I chucked it out. Helen Fielding
“ Eventually, I manage to cheer Mum up by allowing her to go through my wardrobe and criticize all my clothes... Helen Fielding
“ I always market research my books before I hand them in by showing them to five or six close friends who I trust to be honest with me, so they are very heavily re-written already. Helen Fielding
“ Being a woman is worse than being a farmer there is so much harvesting and crop spraying to be done: legs to be waxed, underarms shaved, eyebrows plucked, feet pumiced, skin exfoliated and moisturised… Helen Fielding
“ Rules for Living by Olivia Joules14) Sometimes you just have to go with the flow.and then the new one from Elsie, added at the bottom:15) Don't regret anything. Remember there wasn't anything else tha… Helen Fielding
“ I looked at him nonplussed. I realized that I have spent so many years being on a diet that the idea that you might actually need calories to survive has been completely wiped out of my consciousness.… Helen Fielding
“ The nation's young men havebeen proved by surveys to be completely unmarriageable, and as a result there's a wholegeneration of single girls like me with their own incomes and homes who have lots of f… Helen Fielding
“ The point is you are supposed to vote for the principle of the thing, not the itsy-bitsy detail about this percent and that percent. Helen Fielding
“ When someone leaves you, apart from missing them, apart from the fact that the whole little world you've created together collapses, and that everything you see or do reminds you of them, the worst is… Helen Fielding
“ Keep thinking back about what Mum said about being real and the Velveteen Rabbit book (though frankly have had enough trouble with rabbits in this particular house). My favorite book, she claims of wh… Helen Fielding
“ It's all chop-change chop-change with you. Either go out with me and treat me nicely, or leave me alone. As I say, I am not interested in fuckwittage. Helen Fielding
“ I mean, I haven't rushed to the answerphone once to see if anyone's aware of my existence in the world! Helen Fielding
“ Why, when people are leaving their partners because they're having an affair with someone else, do they think it will seem better to pretend there is no one else involved? Do they think it will be les… Helen Fielding
“ I began to think I quite liked her really. It's always so nice to meet someone more badly behaved than oneself. Helen Fielding
“ One minute you're closer to someone than anyone in the whole world, next minute they need only to say the words 'time apart', 'serious talk' or 'maybe you...' and you're never going to see them again… Helen Fielding
“ Resolution number one: Obviously will lose twenty pounds. Number two: Always put last night's panties in the laundry basket. Equally important, will find sensible boyfriend to go out with and not cont… Helen Fielding
