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Harriet Lerner Quote

The challenge in all intimate relationships is to preserve both the I and the we without losing either when the going gets tough. If we’re faced with a choice, we need to choose speech over silence, keep our behavior in line with our stated values and beliefs—and save ourselves first.

Harriet Lerner

The challenge in all intimate relationships is to preserve both the I and the we without losing either when the going gets tough. If we’re faced with a choice, we need to choose speech over silence, keep our behavior in line with our stated values and beliefs—and save ourselves first.

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About Harriet Lerner

Harriet Lerner (born November 30, 1944), is a clinical psychologist best known for her contributions to psychoanalytic concepts regarding family and feminist theory and therapy, and for her many psychology books written for the general public. From 1972 to 2001, she was a staff psychologist at the Menninger Clinic in Topeka, Kansas, and a faculty member and supervisor at the Karl Menninger School of Psychiatry. During this time she published extensively on the psychology of women and family relationships, revising traditional psychoanalytic concepts to reflect feminist and family systems perspectives.