Liquor is the chloroform which enables the poor man to endure the painful operation of living.
The mind defines, decides, doubts and divides - only the heart truly binds.
An alcoholic is someone you don't like, who drinks as much as you do.
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
Wit is educated insolence.
An infinite question is often destroyed by finite answers. To define everything is to annihilate much that gives us laughter and joy.
Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. And recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his.
Hypocrite: The man who murdered his parents, and then pleaded for mercy on the grounds that he was an orphan.
The beginning of wisdom is the definition of terms.
Tears are words the heart can't express
Tact: the ability to describe others as they see themselves.