Gas Attendant: Thata ain't no etch-a-sketch. Thats one doodle that can't be un-did home skillet.
Juno MacGuff: Nah... I mean, I'm already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?
Everyone's favorite supper is a gluey carbohydrate-rich concoction known simply as hotdish and served in a community Pyrex.
I wrote a screenplay for a 'Sweet Valley High' adaptation, and it's really amazing to me how many women who are my age have responded to the idea and are excited about the movie.
You know, I did not like being famous. It was a stressful and ugly time, and I'm glad it's over.
To enjoy being famous, you need to have a screw loose.
In my opinon, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun s...
It's possible that I've matured as a writer, and I hope I've matured emotionally, but I always find myself revisiting these adolescent scenes.
Put your blog out into the world and hope that your talent will speak for itself.
I normally ignore the History Channel.
Fact: The new '90210' is cooler than the old '90210.' It's the lithe, streamlined Skipper to the elder series' venerable Barbie. Gone are the traditional parents - they've been replaced by a hipster m...
I absolutely relate to being alone in squalor, trying to come up with something adequate. I relate to that, and I've been known to crawl out of bed and drink out of a 2-liter bottle of Diet Coke.
Juno MacGuff: Thanks a heap coyote ugly. This cactus-gram stings worse than your abandonment.
He wasn’t a carrier of commitment-phobia or other notable boy diseases and he used expensive moisturizer. That’s about all it takes to bang my gong.
Vodka Redbull: Upper meets downer in an effervescent hybrid of bubble gum and junkie piss
Nobody comes to Minnesota to take their clothes off, at least as far as I know.
Love is mysterious and rad, like Steve Perry from Journey
I just go about my life. I'm a mom, I drive an SUV, I go to the grocery store every day. I'm definitely not a celebrity. I always say that I'm a celebrity-adjacent.
Speaking of Twitter, I don't even know if I composed a blog entry in 2009, as I was too busy parceling my every thought into cute 140-character sound bites. I used to only worry about being pithy for...
I want Maggie Gyllenhaal. I don't know why. I don't think she necessarily looks like me or acts like me, I just think she's a cool actress and she could play me, so there you go.