I had a very happy childhood, but I wasn't that happy a child. I liked being alone and creating characters and voices. I think that's when your creativity is developed, when you're young. I liked the...
Soup of the day – wasp Gerbils on toast Or Hair lasagne (vegetarian option) Or Brick cutlet All served with deep-fried cardboard Dessert – A slice of sweat cake Tuesday Soup of the day – Caterpillar c...
Dining room and up the stairs to
Emporium,
He opened the card. It was from Raj’s shop and featured a big smiling cartoon bear inexplicably wearing sunglasses and Bermuda shorts. Dennis had chosen it from Raj’s shop because it had Happy Birthda...
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
But being a child, he’d never been asked for his opinion.
A little while at least.
RAT TAT TAT!
The most used piece of kit in my kitchen is my saucepan. I use it every morning to cook my porridge in. The least used piece of equipment? I'd say a food mixer. I've never used it, I don't really know...
Have your chocolate stolen?
What I still don’t get though, ventured John. Is why you did it?Did what?Put that dress on in the first place.I don’t know really, said Dennis, a puzzled look crossing his face. I suppose it’s because...
Imagine that. Vomiting until all that was left to sick up was your own blood!
How did it sound? asked Tom. Awful! But it didn’t matter how it sounded! said Robin. It was how it felt!
We sit in a room for months trying to think of funny things.
Various
The Queen’s bum remained purple. She showed it to everyone in the country when she gave her yearly speech to the nation on Christmas Day, calling it her ‘anus horribilis’.
PUSH!
Oh, shut yer face, ya idiot!
Mummified