In some of the early northern European paintings, Christ looks like you flushed him out from under a bridge, but in Sunday-school books and the sorts of pictures they sell at Christian supply stores,...
That man tried to picka my frienda’s pocketoni!
Another word I’ve added to the list is conversation, as in We need to have a national conversation about_________. This is employed by the left to mean You need to listen to me use the word ‘diversity...
The trouble with aggressive nonsmokers is that they feel they are doing you a favor by not allowing you to smoke. They seem to think that one day you'll look back and thank them for those precious fif...
My hands tend to be full enough dealing with people who hate me for who I am. Concentrate too hard on the millions of people who hate you for what you are and you're likely to turn into one of those u...
There seemed to be some correlation between devotion to God and a misguided zeal for marshmallows.
Sex, the driver said, Has no one ever told you about it?I took the New York Times from my carry-on bag and pretended to read, an act that apparently explained it all.Ohhh, the driver said, I understan...
He has a passport, my classmates would whisper. Quick, let's run before he judges us!
Hugh and I have been together for so long that in order to arouse extraordinary passion, we need to engage in physical combat. Once, he hit me on the back of the head with a broken wineglass, and I fe...
I don't think of myself as overly prissy, but it bothered me to find a finger on my bedroom floor.
The rabbit of Easter. He bring of the chocolate.
It was one of those situations I often find myself in while traveling. Something's said by a stranger I've been randomly thrown into contact with, and I want to say, Listen. I'm with you on most of th...
Sex is what you boast about when you have no exterior signs of wealth. It's a way of saying, Look, I might not own a fancy sport coat, or even a carry-on bag, but I do have two women and all the inter...
If some people are outed, are other people inned? Can we say that someone has been besided or overed?
After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous,...
Faced with an exciting question, science tended to provide the dullest possible answer.
I hate you' she said to me one afternoon. 'I really, really hate you.' Call me sensitive, but I couldn't help but take it personally.
The Bible says that it’s all right to cast the first stone if someone dead is telling you to do it
I realized I was a teacher when I felt warm during class and got up to open the door. Later on there was noise in the hallway, so I got up and shut it. Students can't open and close the door whenever...
I'd think it strange that the boardinghouse attracted both him and me, but that's what cheap places do -- draw in people with no money. An apartment of my own was unthinkable at that time of my life,...
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