David Sedaris Quote

Me: Did you get your tree yet? Ken: I’m a Jew, I don’t decorate Christmas trees. Me: So you’re going to go with a wreath instead? Ken: I just told you, I’m a Jew. Me: Oh, I get it. You’re looking for a cheap wreath. Ken: I’m not looking for a wreath at all. Leave me alone, will you. Me: You’re probably just tense because you haven’t finished your Christmas shopping. Ken: I don’t Christmas shop. Me: What are you telling me? That you make all of your presents? Ken: I don’t give Christmas presents period. Goddamit, I told you, I’m a Jew. Me: Well, don’t you at least need to buy something for your parents?

David Sedaris

Me: Did you get your tree yet? Ken: I’m a Jew, I don’t decorate Christmas trees. Me: So you’re going to go with a wreath instead? Ken: I just told you, I’m a Jew. Me: Oh, I get it. You’re looking for a cheap wreath. Ken: I’m not looking for a wreath at all. Leave me alone, will you. Me: You’re probably just tense because you haven’t finished your Christmas shopping. Ken: I don’t Christmas shop. Me: What are you telling me? That you make all of your presents? Ken: I don’t give Christmas presents period. Goddamit, I told you, I’m a Jew. Me: Well, don’t you at least need to buy something for your parents?

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About David Sedaris

David Raymond Sedaris (; born December 26, 1956) is an American humorist, comedian, author, and radio contributor. He was publicly recognized in 1992 when National Public Radio broadcast his essay "Santaland Diaries". He published his first collection of essays and short stories, Barrel Fever, in 1994. His next book, Naked (1997), became his first of a series of New York Times Bestsellers, and his 2000 collection Me Talk Pretty One Day won the Thurber Prize for American Humor.
Much of Sedaris's humor is ostensibly autobiographical and self-deprecating and often concerns his family life, his middle-class upbringing in the suburbs of Raleigh, North Carolina, his Greek heritage, homosexuality, jobs, education, drug use, and obsessive behaviors, as well as his life in France, London, New York, and the South Downs in England. He is the brother and writing collaborator of actress Amy Sedaris.
In 2019, Sedaris was elected to the American Academy of Arts and Letters.