“ To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken. Dark Jar Tin Zoo
“ I love that she loves me a 10, on a 5-point scale. Well, I know it’s a 5-point scale, though I asked her on a 1-100 scale. Dark Jar Tin Zoo
“ We had an unspoken love for one another. Probably because she’d never talk to me or return my phone calls or texts. Dark Jar Tin Zoo
“ She told me she loved me. She told me a lot of things. Some of those things were true, and some of those may or may not have been true. It’s kind of hard to tell, because to be honest, I wasn’t listen… Dark Jar Tin Zoo
“ Love is inaudible—until you hear it. And once you do, you’ll never forget the sound of her voice. Dark Jar Tin Zoo
“ She gave me money to buy condoms, and instead I bought a book of baby names. That’s life. That’s love. That’s fiscally irresponsible. Dark Jar Tin Zoo
“ I had a dream about you. At first you were a mannequin, and I was a fashion designer. Then, inexplicably, we switched roles and I became the mannequin. But instead of putting clothes on me, you laughe… Dark Jar Tin Zoo
“ I had a dream about you. You looked like you, but you also looked like a mannequin. And I looked like me, but I also looked like a mannequin. Between the two of us, we were too fake even for Hollywood… Dark Jar Tin Zoo
“ Love is like encountering a forest and having to chop down every tree but one. Oh, and you have to chop down each tree by hugging it until it falls. Dark Jar Tin Zoo
“ I make love like a snake disguised as an elephant and a donkey. But I mustn’t talk about sexual congress and Congress simultaneously. Dark Jar Tin Zoo
“ I am in love, and the river is beginning to ice over. I’d better go drown myself before I freeze to death. Dark Jar Tin Zoo
“ I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home. Dark Jar Tin Zoo
“ I had a dream about you. In my dream I stole all your money, kidnapped your parents, and mailed you mannequin parts spray-painted red in a series of packages that also included ransom notes. Then, tow… Dark Jar Tin Zoo
“ I had a dream about you. We installed Dr. Robert Jarvik’s artificial heart in a mannequin and brought it to life, only to later kill it because a creature that’s all fake heart and no brain is what’s… Dark Jar Tin Zoo
“ I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or needy. Dark Jar Tin Zoo
