La ironía puede ser espontánea, mientras que para el sarcasmo hace falta voluntad. El sarcasmo hay que crearlo.
Every time a supermodel divorces her rock-star husband, the Beta Male secretly rejoices (or more accurately, feels great waves of unjustified hope), and every time a beautiful movie star marries, the...
This is the man who called the fire department when the toilet backed up, and I'm asking him for help. What was I thinking? Why am I attracted to weak men?
Mike had taken the rest of the day off, and he had rested, but unfortunately, he had also shared his tale of the ghost in the beam with his girlfriend of fourteen months, Melody, who first suggested t...
There’s no such thing as a conservative hero.
Faith isn't an act of intelligence, it's an act of imagination. Every time you give them a new metaphor, a mustard seed, a field, a garden, a vineyard, it's like pointing something out to a cat - the...
For a while he'd tried molding himself into the tragic Romantic hero, brooding and staring clench-jawed off into space as he composed dark verse in his head. But it turned out that trying to appear tr...
Oh, I get it, I said. It's a parable. Cute. Let's go eat.
Kayso, it turns out that driving an actual car is way harder than it is in 'Grand Theft Auto: Zombie Hooker Smackdown.
I fink I gots deaf on me willie.
He slowed to a walk. As he approached her he was surprised at just how pretty she was. She looked a little like Maureen O'Hara in those old pirate movies. His writer's mind kicked in and he thought, T...
You're trying to be tricky. What's morality?""It's the difference between what's right and what you can rationalize.""Must be a human thing.""Exactly.
Is it so hard for you to give up what you never had?
Judah could never get the knack of being an adulteress. He’d stand there stiff as Lot’s wife. You can’t do that. An adulteress has to be wily and nimble-footed.)
Like most Beta Males, he didn't realize that being a good guy was not necessarily an attraction to women.
Believe his choice was a blond one.) I have to admit that I felt some sympathy for the scarecrow, although I don’t believe I would have been singing about the lack of a brain. In fact, amid all the mu...
He, Jeff, and Troy Lee carried Super Soakers loaded with Grandma Lee's Vampire Cat Remedy, other Animals had garden sprayers slung on their backs, except for Gustavo, who thought that making him carry...
Resultó que a los cancerberos se les podía adiestrar, particularmente si solo se les decían cosas que iban a hacer de todos modos. («Come, Alvin. Buen chico. Ahora, haz caca. Excelente»).
[after Sammy struggles to unhook Stilton's bra]She rolled onto her face to give him a good shot at the hook in the back. Free my people!I will. I am the Harriet Tubman of your breasts.
Get in, get out, and nobody gets hurt, as Uncle Harlan always said, something he picked up in Vietnam.
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