That was supposed to be the whole purpose of the Internet, you know. To share scientific information.Not a Viagra- and porn-delivery system?
Quoi? she had said, in perfect fucking French.
My fans have great senses of humor and eat too much chocolate.
You think anyone is sane you just don’t know enough about them. The key—and this is very relevant in our case—is to find someone whose insanity dovetails with your own.
Like God's own chocolate, I'd lick her shadow off a hot sidewalk
I fink I gots deaf on me willie.
Advice, then, young yeoman: When referring to the king's middle daughter, state that she is fair, speculate that she is pious, but unless you'd like to spend your watch looking for the box where your...
He smiled to himself. Through many centuries and many incarnations, he had learned one universal truth: bitches love them some cushions.
Leathery bar girls worked the charter booths at the harbor, smoking Basic 100s and talking in voices that sounded like 151 rum poured into hot grease—a jigger of friendly to the liter of harsh.
And I’m all, Do you want to get coffee? I have a bag of blood and ten thousand dollars in my messenger. The nosferatu can totally drink lattes as long as they put some blood in it, unless they’re lact...
He slowed to a walk. As he approached her he was surprised at just how pretty she was. She looked a little like Maureen O'Hara in those old pirate movies. His writer's mind kicked in and he thought, T...
This is the man who called the fire department when the toilet backed up, and I'm asking him for help. What was I thinking? Why am I attracted to weak men?
Charlie Asher: I accidently shagged a monk last night.Minty Fresh: Sometimes, in times of crisis, that shit cannot be avoided.
La ironía puede ser espontánea, mientras que para el sarcasmo hace falta voluntad. El sarcasmo hay que crearlo.
How would I feel if I woke up and she told me that we had done it while I slept? I’d be fine with it. A little sad that I missed things, but I wouldn’t be mad. I’d just ask her if I had a good time. W...
Kayso, it turns out that driving an actual car is way harder than it is in 'Grand Theft Auto: Zombie Hooker Smackdown.
The prospect of change is a many-fanged beast, my dear.
Mr. Asher, you can resist who you are for only so long. Finally, you just decide to go with fate.
Faith isn't an act of intelligence, it's an act of imagination. Every time you give them a new metaphor, a mustard seed, a field, a garden, a vineyard, it's like pointing something out to a cat - the...
In Breeze’s business one got used to running across the skeletons in people’s closets. If Billy’s skeleton wore women’s underwear, it didn’t really matter. Homosexuality on Billy Winston was like acne...
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