Why understand when you can believe?
Ich sprach von der Menschheit allgemein. Mir geht das dämliche Pack gehörig auf den Sack
He slowed to a walk. As he approached her he was surprised at just how pretty she was. She looked a little like Maureen O'Hara in those old pirate movies. His writer's mind kicked in and he thought, T...
He smiled to himself. Through many centuries and many incarnations, he had learned one universal truth: bitches love them some cushions.
In Breeze’s business one got used to running across the skeletons in people’s closets. If Billy’s skeleton wore women’s underwear, it didn’t really matter. Homosexuality on Billy Winston was like acne...
Leathery bar girls worked the charter booths at the harbor, smoking Basic 100s and talking in voices that sounded like 151 rum poured into hot grease—a jigger of friendly to the liter of harsh.
He was a LEPER, you idiot! Not a leopard.
No matter where he went in the City, there was an odoriferous mix of food and vehicles, like the alchemic concoctions of some mad gourmet mechanic: Kung Pao Saab Turbo, Buick Skylark Carbonara, Sweet-...
He was continually surprised at the speed and accuracy of her creepiness. She was like some creepiness child prodigy
Ich möchte ihn im Joch der Ehe sehen, allein schon, um ihn aus dem Bett meiner eigenen Frau fernzuhalten.
He, Jeff, and Troy Lee carried Super Soakers loaded with Grandma Lee's Vampire Cat Remedy, other Animals had garden sprayers slung on their backs, except for Gustavo, who thought that making him carry...
Multiple Personality Barbie. She’s elegant, she’s fashionable, and she’s the reason that Ken has no genitals! Have fun, but remember to hide the sharp stuff!
Henceforth and from now on, I decree that whenever something bad happens to me, there shall be bunnies around. So it shall be written.
Henri was giggling now, barely able to contain himself. So I'm to shovel coal into my shoes hoping no one notices, while smoke and steam - what of the vapor? There's little more smoke than a cigar, an...
Hey, Barry, climb off, motherfucker, I’m up next, then it’s Jeff’s turn. I put it on the board. Blue, don’t let him do that to your ear, baby, you won’t hear for a month.
Praying is talking to God. Meditating is listening.
Religion was supposed to be a matter of faith. Gods were not supposed to jump on your desk and snarl at you. They weren't supposed to sit in your office smoking cigarettes. God's didn't do anything. T...
It’s a yeti, said Gaspar from behind me, obviously having been roused from his trance. An abominable snowman. This is what happens when you fuck a sheep!? I exclaimed. Not an abomination, Josh said, a...
If manta rays are going to be harmless, they should look more harmless, Pardee thought. Fuckers look like aquatic Draculas.
The Holy Mother has many faces, but you know it's her from her blue cloak. She is said to be the spirit in all women. Look, here she is naked and the baby Jesus has wings, said Lucien.That is not the...
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