Cecelia Ahern Quote

When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

So, am I too, like all other humans, just a rogue? Sure! Just a notch less than those rascals wearing godly robes.

I said to my friend, "Why do you smoke (cigarettes)?"He replied, "Because I like to put myself on the line for the welfare and safety of others."I astonishingly said, "Sorry, I didn't get your point."...

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

The wider you spread your fingers apart while clapping is equal to the amount of retarded you look while clapping.

Remember. Make him cry uncle.Cry uncle, my posterior. I'm going to make him cry like a girl who broke her mom's designer heels at the prom.

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse kick you in the face.