AtomicQuote

Bill Maher Quote

New Rule: Apple's next device must be a computer that you control with your tongue. Thanks for eliminating the keyboard and the mouse, but pointing and pushing at things already seems too complicated and tiring. We're Americans--and until you free our hands from the computer entirely, we can never attain our ultimate goal: Web surfing while eating and masturbating.

Bill Maher

New Rule: Apple's next device must be a computer that you control with your tongue. Thanks for eliminating the keyboard and the mouse, but pointing and pushing at things already seems too complicated and tiring. We're Americans--and until you free our hands from the computer entirely, we can never attain our ultimate goal: Web surfing while eating and masturbating.

Tags: humor, laziness, technology

Related Quotes

Marketing is so powerful that it can make even an extremely untalented musician a one-hundred-hits wonder.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Marketing is so powerful that it can make even an extremely untalented musician a one-hundred-hits wonder.

Tags: ability, able, accomplished, ace, adept, adroit, advertiser, advertisers, advertising, aphorism

Belief is a wonderful way to pass the time until the facts come in.

Carl R White

Belief is a wonderful way to pass the time until the facts come in.

Tags: aetheism, agnostic, agnostic atheism, agnostic theism, agnosticism, agnostics, allah, almighty, angels, arguments

It is usually unbearably painful to read a book by an author who knows way less than you do, unless the book is a novel.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

It is usually unbearably painful to read a book by an author who knows way less than you do, unless the book is a novel.

Tags: acceptable, accomplishment, account, accounts, adeptness, admissible, agony, aphorism, aphorisms, aphorist

There would definitely be way fewer instances of cheating, if the average couple did not have sex only when the woman feels like it.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

There would definitely be way fewer instances of cheating, if the average couple did not have sex only when the woman feels like it.

Tags: adultery, aphorism, aphorisms, aphorist, aphorists, bedroom, boyfriend, boyfriends, cheat, cheater

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right.

Ashleigh Brilliant

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right.

Tags: always, changed, fact, humble, humor, opinions, right

Whenever they are condemning weaves or breast implants, some people speak so passionately that their false teeth almost fall out.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Whenever they are condemning weaves or breast implants, some people speak so passionately that their false teeth almost fall out.

Tags: aphorism, aphorisms, aphorist, aphorists, appearance, appearances, argument, arguments, bazooms, berate

The fact that the person who you are sleeping with is also sleeping with another person or other people does not necessarily mean that he or she does not love you. And the fact that you are the only p...

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

The fact that the person who you are sleeping with is also sleeping with another person or other people does not necessarily mean that he or she does not love you. And the fact that you are the only p...

Tags: adage, adages, africa, african, aphorism, aphorisms, axiom, axioms, boyfriend, boyfriends

Instead of being regarded as intelligent or knowledgeable, many a woman would rather be regarded as beautiful or good in the kitchen; many a man, as handsome or good in bed.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Instead of being regarded as intelligent or knowledgeable, many a woman would rather be regarded as beautiful or good in the kitchen; many a man, as handsome or good in bed.

Tags: able, aesthetic, alluring, appealing, arresting, artistic, astute, attractive, beautiful, beauty

Being bored is the price we pay for not being insane.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Being bored is the price we pay for not being insane.

Tags: adage, adages, advantage, advantages, alone, aphorism, aphorisms, asylum, asylums, axiom

The death of a billionaire is worth more to the media than the lives of a billion poor people.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

The death of a billionaire is worth more to the media than the lives of a billion poor people.

Tags: ad, adage, adages, advert, advertiser, advertisers, advertising, advertising space, advertising spaces, adverts
About Bill Maher

William Maher (; born January 20, 1956) is an American comedian, writer, producer, political commentator, actor, and television host. He is known for the HBO political talk show Real Time with Bill Maher (2003–present) and the similar late-night show called Politically Incorrect (1993–2002), originally on Comedy Central and later on ABC. In 2022, Maher started the podcast Club Random.
Maher is known for his political satire and sociopolitical commentary. He targets many topics including religion, political correctness, and the mass media. His critical views of religion were the basis for his 2008 documentary film Religulous. He is a supporter of animal rights, having served on the board of PETA since 1997, and is an advisory board member of Project Reason. Maher supports the legalization of cannabis, serving on the advisory board of NORML.
In 2005, Maher ranked at number 38 on Comedy Central's 100 greatest stand-up comedians of all time. He received a Hollywood Walk of Fame star in 2010. Maher has earned 41 Primetime Emmy Award nominations and a win for his work as executive producer for Vice in 2014. He has also received nominations for two Grammy Awards and a Tony Award.