Key Rabbit, allow me to bore you with a comparison of your wife and a beautiful woman, I said. In the morning a beauty must lie in bed for three or four hours gathering strength for another mighty bat...
Master Li, how are we going to murder a man who laughs at axes? I asked.We are going to , dear boy. Our first order of business will be to find a deranged alchemist, which should not be very difficult...
Once there was a great king who gazed down from a tall tower upon a gardener who sang as he worked, and the king cried, ‘Ah, to have a life of no cares! If only I could be that gardener.’ And the voic...
Miser Shen is preparing to spend the night with a goat.
The problem with 'the crown jewel of Chinese literature' [Dream of the Red Chamber] is that it has two thousand pages and an equal number of characters, and the hero is an effeminate ass who should ha...
Occasionally a moderately intelligent thought misses a turn and accidentally enters my mind
The supernatural can be very annoying until one finds the key that transforms it into science, he observed mildly... Come on, Ox, let's go out and get killed.
Error can point the way to truth, while empty-headedness can only lead to more empty-headedness or to a career in politics.
It was big enough for five village dances and a riot.
Little girls have large maternal instincts, and they take the Feast of Hungry Ghosts very seriously, and they were making their rounds with small lanterns made from candles inside rolled lotus and sag...
Don't be ashamed of reliving your childhood, Ox, because all of us must do it now and then to maintain our sanity.
The emotional health of a village depended upon having a man whom everyone loved to hate, and Heaven had blessed us with two of them.
Blessed are the idiots, for they are happiest people on earth.
Alas, great is my sorrow. Your name is Ah Chen, and when you were born I was not truly pleased. I am a farmer, and a farmer needs strong sons to help with his work, but before a year had passed you ha...
I used to love history class. I can still quote whole passages by heart: When the emperor entered the Hall of Balming Virtue, a violent wind came from a dark corner, and out of it slithered a giant se...
Ginseng hunters refer to the plant as chang-diang shen, the root of lightning, because it is believed that it appears only on the spot where a small mountain spring has been dried up by a lightning bo...
Within an hour we had a visit from a gentleman with shifty eyes and an interesting pattern of knife scars where his nose used to be,
One of the previous possessors of the stone was Chuang Tzu. He had a disciple who spent seven years studying universal energy and then demonstrated his wisdom by walking across the surface of a river...
Men cannot come any closer to immortality without going insane.
Master Li turned bright red while he scorched the air with the Sixty Sequential Sacrileges with which he had won the all-China Freestyle Blasphemy Competition in Hangchow three years in a row.
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