Amy Sedaris Quotes

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.

Books are challenging and inspirational to me.

I failed first grade, which is my biggest problem. You always feel like a failure, like you're stupid.

Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his real girlfriend.

I like to decide the night before Thanksgiving that I'm gonna do it, and I'll see what riff raff is around. Then I get that last-minute surge of energy. But if I had two weeks to plan, sometimes I wis...

My father and I have a very good relationship. We always got along. But I always scold him.

David and Dad didn't get along too well growing up. I mean we all got along, but it was harder on David, because David wasn't going to be the son that Dad wanted. But now they're like best friends.

Don't answer the door in a wedding dress and veil, he might not think you're joking.

Accentuaute the positives - medicate the negatives.

You think in a different way when you don't have any money. The joy of poverty is that you use your imagination to come up with stuff.

My mother always said 'Don't bother other people.' I think that's good advice.

There's humor in everything. There's gotta be humor in everything.

I never really take shortcuts. I was always one of those people who, instead of cutting across someone's yard on the way home from school, I would go to the end of the block and turn.

I have always wanted a bunny and I'll always have a rabbit the rest of my life.

• A good trick is to fill your medicine cabinet with marbles. Nothing announces a nosey guest better than an avalanche of marbles hitting a porcelain sink. Plus you’ll know which guest is a junkie who...

An alcoholic at a small gathering is called an intervention.

I swear I want to be a food model.

I like crafts that come out of poverty or necessity. There used to be hobby shops where you'd get your supplies, and then you'd use your imagination.

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy.

The moment someone says, Hey, everyone, listen to the words in this song, your party is over.