Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. Then the worms eat you. Be grateful it happens in that order.
If rocks did not persevere under heat and pressure, they would never become diamonds.
Part of my act is meant to shake you up. It looks like I'm being funny, but I'm reminding you of other things. Life is tough, darling. Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything; otherwise, we're...
Life is hard. Not great. Kind of tragic.
When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'
I want to give kids that fall-off-the-bed-laughing feeling. Either that, or the sixth-grade feeling that life is hard - sometimes unbearably hard - and it is ultimately about death. But in the meantim...