He smiled at me, turning into the old Sean Evans. The transformation was so sudden, I blinked to make sure I didn’t imagine it. Because you’re a carebear.What?You’re the type to get out of a perfectly...
How are you?Perfectly fine, he said.Are your ribs broken?Probably not. Cracked at most. We fought very carefully.Did this settle anything?It made me feel better, he said, sitting up. Did you see me ki...
I also stole a small yellow doughnut from the box of Duncan's doughnuts in the rec room and fed it to the attack poodle in my office. He made a great production of it. First, he growled at the doughnu...
I paused with the pen in my hand. He burst into flames?He became engulfed in fire.Was his buddy made out of orange rocks and at any point yell, 'It's clobbering time'?
I'll call you, he repeated.If you call me, I won't pick up the phone.You will wait by the phone for my call, and when it rings, you will pick it up and you will speak to me in a civil manner. If you d...
I'm counting to ten in my head.Is it helping?No.It doesn't help me with you either. I used to life weights to alleviate frustration, but someone blowtorched my weight bench. How did you do it, by the...
Im's offspring stare at stars and make clocks that calculate useless happenings like the angle of a hawk's claws as it strikes its prey. They demonstrate their contraptions and everyone marvels. My ch...
It became known that I had a rather fertile imagination, when it came to private activities.She stared. What sort of private activities?This time he did smile, and it turned his face wicked. Disrobe,...
It could be worse, he said finally. Efrenia married an arsonist. Jake's wife is a kleptomaniac. I suppose, a psychopathic spree killer isn't that odd of a choice, considering.
It depends. If I don't let you in, will you huff and puff and blow my house down? She had no idea. I'm more of a kick the door open and cut everyone inside to ribbons kind of wolf.
Kid 1: *examining my gorgeous strawberry and blueberry pies*: Wow, Mom, your pies don’t look awful this time.Me (Ilona): ...~A little later~Kid 2: *wandering into the kitchen*Kid 1: Hey, you’ve got to...
Life was too short and ended too suddenly. If you didn't take advantage of what you had today, tomorrow it might be ripped from you.
No more tubs for me. I jumped off the bed and pulled on a pair of Pack sweats. They make me lose all sense.Curran sprawled on the bed with a big self-satisfied smile. Want to know a secret?Sure.It's n...
One day, she’d find a way to live her life to the fullest. She was sure of it. She just had no idea how she would manage it.
Our standard rate. A doubloon a day.It was generous. More than generous--some families would put him up for a week for a single coin.Half a doubloon a day, she said.No, you see, the idea behind bargai...
Rose pictured him standing at the boundary of the Ogletree house in that enormous fur cape, with a giant sword sticking over his shoulder, roaring at the top of his lungs and then being upset that nob...
She crouched with her hand out. What the hell was she doing… Here, kitty, kitty, kitty. Oh my God, she was retarded and I was going to kill Jim. She blinked and stared at me. She'd seen my eyes glow....
She put her hand on her hip. Where are you going?To the boat. You called me Lord Bill again. That means we're cool.Cerise slapped her forehead with the heel of her hand and followed him.
So, regarding that tidbit about your having a fertile imagination when it comes to private activities, she said, fighting off anxiety. Was it another lie?Depends on how you look at it. It's not exactl...
This doesn't mean you're getting a discount.Audrey heaved a mock sigh. Oh well. I guess I'll have to ply you with sexual favors, then.Gnome choked on the soup. I'm old enough to be your grandfather!Au...
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