Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence so why bother shaving?
She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak.
In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and someone to actually show up and do the revolting. Dress is usually casual and both parties may be f...
Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could not blink my eyes in unison. — If The Impressionists Had Been Dentists
End production today. Wrap party as usual a little sad. Slow danced with Scarlett. Broke her toe. Not my fault. When she dipped me back, I stepped on it.Penélope and Javier anxious to work with me aga...
But it was I, yes I, who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics!
I am going to give my psychoanalyst one more year then I'm going to Lourdes.
If Jesus came back and saw what was going on in his name, he'd never stop throwing-up.
There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss ba...
What advice would I give the average homeowner to protect himself against burglars? Well, the first thing is to keep a light on in the house when you go out. It must be at least a sixty-watt bulb; any...
UFOs are back in the news, and it is high time we took a serious look at the phenomenon. (Actually the time is ten past eight, so not only are we a few minutes late but I'm hungry).
These modern analysts! They charge so much. In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks, he would treat you and press your pants. For fifteen marks, Freud would let you trea...
Kugelmass, unaware of this catastrophe, had his own problems. He had not been thrust into , or into any other novel, for that matter. He had been projected into an old textbook, , and was running for...
Those modern analysts they charge so much! In my day for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks he would treat you and press your pants. For fifteen marks Freud would let you treat...
Raining. Oh, brother, a scratch on the fender. Damn rabbi on his unicycle.
If she were lying on a plate with a herring, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.