There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?
How to make God laugh. Tell him your future plans.
I was in bed at my beach house, but could not sleep because of some fried chicken in the icebox that I felt entitled to. I waited till my wife dropped off, and tiptoed into the kitchen. I remembered l...
Mrs. Sol Schwimmer is suing me because I made her bridge as I felt it and not to fit her ridiculous mouth! That's right! I can't work to order like a common tradesman! I decided her bridge should be e...
True, science has conquered many diseases, broken the genetic code, and even placed human beings on the moon, and yet when a man of eighty is left in a room with two eighteen-year-old cocktail waitres...
UFOs are back in the news, and it is high time we took a serious look at the phenomenon. (Actually the time is ten past eight, so not only are we a few minutes late but I'm hungry).
What advice would I give the average homeowner to protect himself against burglars? Well, the first thing is to keep a light on in the house when you go out. It must be at least a sixty-watt bulb; any...
You're so good looking I can barely keep my eyes on the meter.
راستی آدم بهتر است دل داده باشد یا دل دار؟ اگر کلسترول تان بالای ششصد است، هیچ کدام. البته مرادم از عشق، عشق رمانتیک است، عشق بین زن و مرد، نه بین مادر و فرزند، یا پسر بچه و سگش، یا بین دو سر پیشخدمت....
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
Don't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.
He’s dreaming, Cloquet thought, as he stood over him, revolver in hand. He’s dreaming, and I exist in reality. Cloquet hated reality but realized it was still the only place to get a good steak.
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss ba...
I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
My brain? That's my second favorite organ.
I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.
If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.
Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could not blink my eyes in unison. — If The Impressionists Had Been Dentists
If she were lying on a plate with a herring, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
Raining. Oh, brother, a scratch on the fender. Damn rabbi on his unicycle.
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