The devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for ...
I try to explain to people that the only way to be cool is to be who you truly are, and the only way to live life is to do the things that you want to do and be the person that you want to be no matte...
She was quite promiscuous, to the point where dating her was similar to the experience of sitting on a warm toilet seat:
Look, I know everything is shitty right now, but if you don't stop acting like such a bitch, someones gonna fuck that pussy on your face.
If you don't have a job right now, and you have a computer and a basic intelligence level, I guarantee you can get a great job, paying really well, in less than three months. How? Learn to program.
Gotta love alcohol and sex hormones.
Girl3 You don't have to be a jerkSlingBlade Quite the contrary, my sloppy penile scholar.Order me another drink and be quick about it.
FK THAT. I AM TUCKER MAX. I AM BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU.
5:16 I shotgun two beers, piss out the bedroom window, catcall passing girls, burp violently, put cage fighting on tv, play with myself. I feel manly again.
Mexico is a lawless place. I don’t care what the UN says, or what the State Department travel advisories tell you. The fact is that Mexico, as a whole, is a narco-state run by powerful regional cartel...
I never understand why women think drama and bullshit are attractive to guys. They’re not. I’m going to be real clear about this, ladies, so pay attention: Prince Charming doesn't come to rescue cunty...
His first question shows how well he knows me: TheRoommate: Did you take any money out of her purse?
Of course, I'm not a doctor; I just watch a lot of ER and House.
Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as 'deserving' respect; you get what you demand from people.
I wish I could bottle the seductive look she gave me so I could sniff it when I jack off.
I take a lull from my CamelBak and choke at its potency. It tastes like bad decisions. It's perfect.
I stop paying attention because as much as I love beauty, I hate stupidity, and seeing the two combined pisses me off.
I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don't believe in God anymore. No just God woul...
There are fun nights, there are crazy nights, and then there are those nights that make men legends.
One of us needs to get laid.Just one of us?What are the odds of both of us getting laid?