T.J. Klune Quotes

I wanted to kill him.I wanted to fuck him.I wanted him to tear me apart.

When Big Eddie left, I only worried about how it affected me. I didn't worry about the others. I was selfish. Self-centred. I took to the river and let myself float on its waters. I didn't care if I d...

If you’re not done in that minute, I will describe in excruciating detail that one time my hoof got stuck in Kevin’s asshole. You understand me? I

Otter did this! I didn’t do anything wrong. He tricked me! He tricked me and left! Just like I knew he would! I think I hear him call my name, but my ears are pounding too hard to be sure. It sounds l...

Why? he cried. Why the hell are you doing this? Why do you even care? Is it guilt? Is this your way of getting back at me? Do you really hate me that much? Why the hell are you doing this, Gordo? Now,...

Why’d the chicken cross the road? I gaped at him. Because it got scared after it saw me kicking your ass!

I wasn’t smiling, he said. I was doing lip stretches.

Anyone that gave them shit for anything would find a drag queen’s spiked heel up their urethra.

I always thought unicorns were made from sunshine and rainbows and good feelings. Like you just appeared one day in a field filled with flowers and a big fat sunbeam falling all around you. And there’...

I’m not going to do anything about it, I said. He’s young. He’s going to college. He’s going to have a life. He’s my friend, and that’s— Carter snorted. Yeah, good luck with that, Oxnard. Trust me. Wh...

And every time I saw him in the hall, I couldn’t help but think, There goes Captain Hook,

THAT NIGHT as I lay in bed waiting for sleep, I heard a howl from deep in the woods. It rose like a song until I was sure it was all I could ever want to sing. It went on and on and all I could think...

Life is like this: it aches. It’s biting, and you ache from it. You are strong, because they tell you that you are. You are stronger than anything they’ve ever seen. You have to be. It is what is expe...

He’s my brother. You don’t turn away from someone like him just because he likes dick instead of the good stuff. I chuckle. You certainly haven’t lost your way with words.

If I’d known having a gay best friend meant I had to go to clubs with names like Liquid and Bulge and Cockhole, I would’ve had second thoughts about this whole thing. Liar. I get you more play than yo...

Everything always changes, he said quietly. And you wake up one dayand don’t recognize the life you had before you went to sleep.

You might be the only one Otter will listen to, but I know for a fact hes the only one you listen to.

You should have just gone with the crazy guy in the bar, the voice said. No shit. Any ideas? Yeah: don’t die. Thanks.

'The image of you putting a condom on a banana to teach me about gay sex is forever ingrained in my head.' 'Well, a good father teaches his son about the facts of life.' 'You didn't have to put the ba...

I can’t wait for the day when you tell me you’ve got the clap. He cocks his head to the side. That’s what you can’t wait for? Out of everything in the world, that’s what you can’t wait for? Bear, that...