Ryan said, What the hell? Does everything want to have sex with you?
Frodo: Mordor. I hope the others find a safer route. Sam: Strider will look after them.
Wonderful folk, Elves, sir! Wonderful!' 'They are,' said Frodo. 'Do you like them still, now you have had a closer view?
Another fairy flew up, carrying a spear and wearing a helmet and not much else. I thought about asking why he had armor on his head and not his balls, but I didn’t think that was proper etiquette whil...
I glanced back at my merry little band of travelers. A hornless gay unicorn. A half-giant. A knight who was a jerk but that I wanted to have for breakfast.
Hey, Sam. Want to join me in the river? We can bathe before the sun sets and it gets too cold..What?Stay back, foul temptress!What?Er. Not you. Uh. I… sensed the presence of a succubus. Like, near her...
Sam said he doesn’t have time for a boyfriend, much less Knight Delicious Face.Remind me why you call him that? Pete asked.Uh, pretty simple, Pete, I said. He’s a knight. And his face is delicious.
Gary’s eyes narrowed. I’m pretty sure I don’t like you.My world is crumbling, Ryan said. I might have laughed. Because sass.
Smeagol,' said Gollum suddenly and clearly, opening his eyes wide and staring at Frodo with a strange light. 'Smeagol will swear on the Precious.'Frodo drew himself up, and again Sam was startled by h...
We can be heroes just for one day
Can you sign something? Nicole demanded. This paper? This napkin? My chest? My inner thighs or my wildest dreams? Whatever you want.