Terry Pratchett Quotes

You need to believe in things that aren't true. How else can they become?

Young women should not go alone on dark nights, even in Oxfordshire. But any prowling maniac would have had more than his work cut out if he had accosted Anathema Device. She was a witch, after all. A...

Y’know,’ he said, ‘it’s very hard to talk quantum using a language originally designed to tell other monkeys where the ripe fruit is.

As self-centered as a tornado,

Down below the mines and sea ooze and fake fossil bones put there by a Creator with nothing better to do than upset archeologists and give them silly ideas.

The IQ of a mob is the IQ of its most stupid member divided by the number of mobsters,

When you break rules, break 'em good and hard

A metaphor ... is like lying but more decorative.

All reputable falconers agreed that for hunting purposes the only way you could reliably bring down prey with a wowhawk was by using it in a slingshot.

All the shops have been smashed open. There was a whole bunch of people across the street helping themselves to musical instruments, can you believe that?Yeah, said Rincewind. ...Luters, I expect.

A unicorn is nothing more than a big horse that comes to a point, anyway. Nothing to get so excited about.

A witch sees through things and around things. A witch sees farther than most, a witch sees things from the other side. A witch knows where she is, who she is and when she is ...

All witches who'd lived in her cottage were bookish types. They thought you could see life through books but you couldn't, the reason being that the words got in the way.

And I went on reading; and, since if you read enough books you overflow, I eventually became a writer.

And if you couldn't trust the government, who could you trust? Very nearly everyone, come to think of it...

And if you did it for a good reason, you’d do it for a bad one. You couldn’t say we’re the good guys and do bad-guy things.

And it be well for a knowlessman that he should not be here, for he would be taken from this place and his gaskin slit, his moules shown to the four winds, his welchet torn asunder with many hooks and...

And our lady friend, she thinks life works like a fairy tale.'Well, that’s harmless, isn’t it?'Yeah, but in fairy tales, when someone dies... it’s just a word.

And then she woke up and it was all a dream.' It was just about the worst ending you could have to any story.

And then you rushed off afterward because of that business with the barber in Gleam Street. Sweeney Jones, said Vimes. Well, he was killing people, Sybil. The best you could say is that he didn’t mean...