In my experience, what every true artist wants, really wants, is to be paid.
If you were going to be successful in the world of crime, you needed a reputation for honesty.
I don't hold with paddlin' with the occult, said Granny firmly. Once you start paddlin' with the occult you start believing in spirits, and when you start believing in spirits you start believing in d...
Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.
Er, why do you need to work in a dark room, though? he said. The imps don't need it, do they?Ah, zis is for my experiment, said Otto proudly. You know zat another term for an iconographer would be 'ph...
But the helmet had gold decoration, and the bespoke armorers had made a new gleaming breastplate with useless gold ornamentation on it. Sam Vimes felt like a class traitor every time he wore it. He ha...
Albert grunted. Do you know what happens to lads who ask too many questions?Mort thought for a moment.No, he said eventually, what?There was silence.Then Albert straightened up and said, Damned if I k...
A book has been taken. A book has been taken? You summoned the Watch, Carrot drew himself up proudly, because someone's taken a ? You think that's worse than murder?The Librarian gave him the kind of...
It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living.
Personally, I think the best motto for an educational establishment is: 'Or Would You Rather Be a Mule?'
All he had was nothing, but that was something, and now it had been taken away.
There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.
Just for a moment there was an unusual feeling of bliss. Strange word, he thought. It's one of those words that describe something that does not make a noise but, if it did make a noise, would sound j...
If women were as good as men they'd be a lot better!
I believe it should be possible for someone stricken with a serious and ultimately fatal illness to choose to die peacefully with medical help, rather than suffer.
You won't enjoy it, sighed Crowley. It's been in the car for more than a fortnight. A heavy bass beat began to thump through the Bentley as they sped past Heathrow. Aziraphale's brow furrowed. I don't...
Witches are naturally nosy, said Miss Tick, standing up. Well, I must go. I hope we shall meet again. I will give you some free advice, though.Will it cost me anything?What? I just said it was free! s...
Watching a dog try to chew a large piece of toffee is a pastime fit for gods. Mr. Fusspot's mixed ancestry had given him a dexterity of jaw that was truly awesome. He somersaulted happily around the f...
Unseen University had never admitted women, muttering something about problems with the plumbing, but the real reason was an unspoken dread that if women were allowed to mess around with magic they wo...
Trolls have 5,400 words for rocks and one for vegetation. Oograah means everything from moss to giant redwoods. The way trolls see it, if you can't eat it, it's not worth naming it.