Welcome to fear, said Moist to himself. It's hope, turned inside out. You know it can't go wrong, you're sure it can't go wrong...But it might.
We are as gods to beasts of the field. We order the time of their birth and the time of their death. Between times, we have a duty.
This is a lovely party, said the Bursar to a chair, I wish I was here.
There's a kind of magic in masks. Masks conceal one face, but they reveal another. The one that only comes out in darkness. I bet you could do just what you liked, behind a mask ... ?
The senior wizards of Unseen University stood and looked at the door.There was no doubt that whoever had shut it wanted it to stay shut. Dozens of nails secured it to the door frame. Planks had been n...
The only thing more dangerous then a vampire crazed with blood lust was a vampire crazed with anything else. All the meticulous single-mindedness that went into finding young women who slept with thei...
The important thing about adventures, thought Mr. Bunnsy, was that they shouldn't be so long as to make you miss mealtimes.
Taxation, gentlemen, is very much like dairy farming. The task is to extract the maximum amount of milk with the minimum amount of moo.
Steal five dollars and you're a common thief. Steal thousands and you're either the government or a hero.
Stand before your god, bow before your king, kneel before your man.
Soon to come in licorice, orange, cinnamon, and banana, but not strawberry, because I hate strawberries.
Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft are written by men.
Many things went on at Unseen University and, regrettably, teaching had to be one of them. The faculty had long ago confronted this fact and had perfected various devices for avoiding it. But this was...
It was the way he wore the place. You expected him any moment to break into the kind of song that has suspicious rhymes and phrases like my kind of town and I wanna be a part of it in it; the kind of...
It was quite impossible to describe.Here is what it looked like.It looked like a piano sounds shortly after being dropped down a well. It tasted yellow, and it felt Paisley. It smelled like the total...
It was a nice day.
It struck Mort with sudden, terrible poignancy that Death must be the loneliest creature in the universe. In the great party of Creation, he was always in the kitchen.
It had a very long pendulum, and the pendulum swung with a slow tick-tock that set his teeth on edge, because it was the kind of deliberate annoying ticking that wanted to make it abundantly clear tha...
Interesting thing, these fellows never seem to get the idea of perspective-'The Bursar thought, or received the thought: that's because perspective is a lie. If I know a pond is round then why should...
In the words of the philosopher Sceptum, the founder of my profession: am I going to get paid for this?