I wanted to be strong when I went back to Persuasion. Strong and beautiful and totally together. I dreamed of the day I’d get to rub all your faces in my sheer awesomeness.
She'd even violated the only sensible rule of dieting she'd ever run across, the sage advice of the Muppets' Miss Piggy, who recommended never eating anything bigger than your head.
A punching bag. The guy was pounding on a punching bag. That realization took about a nanosecond to register in her brain before the real important information came to the forefront: LoriSue, God bles...
… Remember, no matter where you go, there you are. —Buckaroo Banzai
I think we love who we love and there’s not a damn thing that can be done about it.
I’m pretty sure the past is only good for one thing and that’s getting a person where they are at the present.
And I want cabana boys named Raoul to rubwarm, fragrant oil all over me, from head to toe, all over my throat and chest and my legs and arms. Iwant—Theo pushed the chair back on the deck and it made a...
Dear God, there couldn't be a single thing more humiliating in this entire world. Unless, of course, Hairy had been out here in his maxi pad. Thomas sighed. Walking around the house with that thing ti...
As her lungs pumped and her head cleared, she wondered if all the effort she’d put into blotting out the pain had deadened her ability to feel pleasure, too. What a shame. What a loss.
Ah, Milk Duds. The official candy of pissed-off fat women everywhere.
The good news is, you’re less of an ass nowadays.Duncan put his head back and laughed. Hard. It took him a moment to stop laughing. That was the nicest backhanded compliment anyone has paid me in a ve...
Out of nowhere, her body began to buzz with awareness. Lena looked up. And spotted him.Duncan towered above most everyone else on Main Street. He walked at a steady pace, with a strong stride. He was...
Mona's eyes sparkled. Her grin became so open and joyous that she looked like a little girl. Do you remember what I always used to tell you?Duncan squeezed his eyes shut. He shook his head as if he co...
I'm serious—I’m whacked. Running around my entire adult life claiming to be in love with a stranger. If I had a friend like me, I would take her to the nearest hospital and make sure they strapped her...
That’sthe kind of dress that belongs on the floor, all wrinkled up, with the zipper broken and the sleeves torn.That dress isn’t right for you at all. In fact, I think you should take it off right now...
In fact, Duncan wouldn't be the least bit surprised to hear his brother say something like, Hand over the bimbo before someone gets hurt.
He realized that the woman at his side - the one with the sweaty red face and the sweet smile - had pried open his heart, one day at a time.
Light mayonnaise is like masturbation—it approximates the real thing but leaves you unfulfilled,ultimately leading to fantasies about diving face-first into a big-ass jar of the real stuff.
Affirmation for Today: I am strong enough to refrain from killing any or all members of my family.
And he did it. Dammit, he couldn't stop himself. His eyes traveled up to the bronze sea hag, the source of hundreds of years of ridiculousness.