Maybe he was destined to die under the fading shadow of a plastic dinosaur surrounded by pickpockets, hookers, and panhandlers, but at least he’d never been to Mississippi.
Like a man once said: ‘I’m not afraid of death. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.’ The
LOS ANGELES IS a busted jukebox in a forgotten bar at the ass end of the high desert. The city only exists between the pops, skips, and scratches of the old 45s.
LAUREL CANYON PERCHED DIRECTLY ABOVE LOS ANGELES, one of the most expensive collections of winding hills and valleys in the country. Luckily, there were roads that twisted up and down the tortured rid...
I’m sweating like a hog tap-dancing in a sauna.
I’m Satan. I can deal with that and play Smoke on the Water while getting a lap dance on a runaway train all at the same time.
It would be simpler than dealing with this sideshow.
Is that supposed to impress me? You sound like every supervillain in every comic book ever written.
Instead they’re crying like a school bus full of little French girls whose ice cream all melted.
Imagine all of L.A. filled with windup men wandering empty-headed and waiting for orders and directions and purpose. That’s L.A. in a nutshell. A city of driven creatures, but no one is a hundred perc...
I should sit down and make a list of everything I missed while I was gone. If you can’t smoke in bars anymore, what other atrocities has the world committed?
He’s a little ray of sunshine, your partner. I look at him as my last training test. Can I work with him long enough without shooting him to get a promotion?
He pulls the tape off Allegra's mouth. Grabs her BY THE HAIR and gives her a peck on the lips.
Cops are generally color-blind when it comes to brown cars, and this Subaru is too boring for even a soccer mom. It looks like it was made for people into competitive tire filling.
But she’s not going to call the cops or stab me in my sleep, and what more can you ask of a pretty girl?
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Then you’ll fit in just fine around here, he says.
An angel wouldn’t know fun if it showed up in a blimp with dancing girls and a full bar.
As each wave of technology is released. It must be accompanied by a demand for new skills, new language. Consumers must constantly update their ways of thinking, always questioning their understanding...
We have these meetings every couple of days. We’re rebuilding Hell after it went up in flames like a flash-paper bikini when the original Lucifer, the real Lucifer, blew out of town after sticking me...
Vices shouldn't be safe. They're what remind us we're alive and mortal.