The Bad Dad thing usually works. Hellions are big on pecking orders and I have to remind them regularly who’s at the top. Now they need a pat on the head from Good Dad before things go all Hansel and...
It’s a whole plot of flowers ranging from a few inches to a foot high. They have petals like roses, but in the center of each blossom is a bright white set of teeth. They snap and snarl at me when I g...
Abandon all hope ye who piss me off.
No. You open it. You think I put a bomb in there? Maybe snakes? Maybe a snake bomb?
Stark: So, you think Mason knows I'm back.Vidocq: You just blew up his home. He might suspect something.
Hell doesn’t run on prayers or promises. Downtown magic is about reaching out and grabbing what you want, and that requires payment. An offering. Blood.
And that makes a difference? said Coop. Let me put it this way, said Phil. Were you fucked ten minutes ago? No. Are you fucked now? Yes. Then I guess it makes a difference. Coop
He’s a little ray of sunshine, your partner. I look at him as my last training test. Can I work with him long enough without shooting him to get a promotion?
If you’re in the exorcism business, you must know a lot about demons. Qliphoth, he says. What? It’s the proper word for what you call a demon. A demon is a bogeyman, an irrational entity representing...
Cash is the magic that anyone can do.
It seemed to be going well. You see, a Qliphoth can only possess an imperfect and impure body, one that’s sinned. Of course, that describes all humans except maybe for the saints. When I eat a possess...
Of course, aside from fear, the God business runs on sentimentality. That’s the only explanation. Unless it’s a real estate scam.
I've been me for so long, what am I going to be if that's gone?
I can’t. I scoot forward on the chair and lean close to Carolyn. She freezes, trying to keep her eyes from meeting mine. Or maybe you’re not Hunter’s friend and you gave him a hot shot. Is that what y...
Besides Getting my ass kicked, my main accomplishment on this trip has been to massacre an incredible number of completely innocent clothes. I'm the Joseph Stalin of laundry.
I tap a Malediction out of the box, fire it up, and puff. It tastes like a tire fire in a candy factory next door to a strip club. The best cigarettes ever.
As each wave of technology is released. It must be accompanied by a demand for new skills, new language. Consumers must constantly update their ways of thinking, always questioning their understanding...
We have these meetings every couple of days. We’re rebuilding Hell after it went up in flames like a flash-paper bikini when the original Lucifer, the real Lucifer, blew out of town after sticking me...
When you jump off a cliff, is it better to land on jagged rocks or burning lava? I know this one. The answer is obvious: It doesn’t matter where you land. You just jumped off a cliff.
Young vampires are all assholes. It’s part of their job description.
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