We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder, and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.
We spend the first 12 months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next 12 months teaching them to sit down and shut up.
In most states you can get a driver's license when you're sixteen years old which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.
I'm at an age where my back goes out more than I do.
It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
Cleaning your house while your children are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.
Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.