Nick Offerman Quote

A step further. Creationism. If you want to go in so deep as to ignore all of the advances and hard facts that SCIENCE and LEARNING have provided us in the field of biological evolution and instead profess that the creation story, written by men from their holy visions, about how the Christian deity spinning the world together out of the void in the magic of Genesis describes the true origin of the universe, that is your business. Terrific. It’s a cool story, don’t get me wrong; I love magic. Check out Madeleine L’Engle’s A Wrinkle in Time, which won a Newbery Medal. For the record, I don’t believe the book of Genesis ever won one of those. You and your fellow creationists profess belief in a magical story. You are welcome to do so. Sing and chant, and eat crackers and drink wine that you claim are magically infused with the blood and flesh of your church’s original grand wizard, the Prince of Peace. I personally think that’s just a touch squirrelly, but that’s your business, not mine. You will not be punished for those beliefs in our nation of individual freedoms. But I do think the vast majority of your fellow Americans would appreciate it, kind creationists, if you silly motherfuckers would keep that bullshit out of our schools. Your preferred fairy tales have no place in a children’s classroom or textbook that professes to be teaching our youngsters what is REAL. Jesus Christ, it’s irrefutably un-American, people!

Nick Offerman

A step further. Creationism. If you want to go in so deep as to ignore all of the advances and hard facts that SCIENCE and LEARNING have provided us in the field of biological evolution and instead profess that the creation story, written by men from their holy visions, about how the Christian deity spinning the world together out of the void in the magic of Genesis describes the true origin of the universe, that is your business. Terrific. It’s a cool story, don’t get me wrong; I love magic. Check out Madeleine L’Engle’s A Wrinkle in Time, which won a Newbery Medal. For the record, I don’t believe the book of Genesis ever won one of those. You and your fellow creationists profess belief in a magical story. You are welcome to do so. Sing and chant, and eat crackers and drink wine that you claim are magically infused with the blood and flesh of your church’s original grand wizard, the Prince of Peace. I personally think that’s just a touch squirrelly, but that’s your business, not mine. You will not be punished for those beliefs in our nation of individual freedoms. But I do think the vast majority of your fellow Americans would appreciate it, kind creationists, if you silly motherfuckers would keep that bullshit out of our schools. Your preferred fairy tales have no place in a children’s classroom or textbook that professes to be teaching our youngsters what is REAL. Jesus Christ, it’s irrefutably un-American, people!

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About Nick Offerman

Nicholas David Offerman (born June 26, 1970) is an American actor, comedian, writer, and producer. He became widely known for his role as Ron Swanson in the NBC sitcom Parks and Recreation (2009–2015), for which he received the Television Critics Association Award for Individual Achievement in Comedy and was twice nominated for the Critics' Choice Television Award for Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series.
Offerman has also appeared in the second season of the FX series Fargo (2015), for which he received a nomination for the Critics' Choice Television Award, as well as the FX on Hulu series Pam & Tommy (2022), and the HBO series The Last of Us (2023), for which he won the Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Guest Actor in a Drama Series. He has acted in numerous independent films, including The Kings of Summer (2013), Me and Earl and the Dying Girl (2015), The Founder (2016), and Hearts Beat Loud (2018).
Offerman's other work includes executive producing and starring in the film The House of Tomorrow (2017). He also played the President of the United States in the movie Civil War (film) (2024), directed by Alex Garland. He voiced Agent Powers on Gravity Falls (2012–2016) and has provided voice acting work for The Lego Movie franchise (2014–2019), Hotel Transylvania 2 (2015), Ice Age: Collision Course (2016), and the Sing film franchise (2016–present). He also hosted Have a Good Trip: Adventures in Psychedelics (2020).
He began co-hosting the NBC reality competition series Making It (2018–2021) with Parks and Recreation co-star Amy Poehler; the duo received three nominations for the Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Host for a Reality or Competition Program.