Tina was kneeling before me, holding Donald's head by the hair and very plainly trying to hand it to me. Majesty, I beg your forgiveness for the indignity you suffered and offer you the head of our en...
They weren't moving. Perhaps I was dazzling then with my ineptitude. It had happened before.
The vampire bible, bound in human skin, written in blood, and full of prophecies that were never wrong. Trouble was, if you read the thing too long, it drove you nuts. Not I'm having a bad day and fee...
Oh my God, Marc rhapsodized. Who is that ?An asshole, I mumbled, turning back to him and picking up my tea. I was so rattled I sloshed some of the hot liquid on my hand, but I didn't feel a thing.He's...
Look, nobody's trying to kill me right now and that's just fine. If they don'tlike me, that's just how it goes. I got over needing people to LIKE me in tenthgrade, when I spied the captain of the chee...
Jessica peeked into the bathroom, then hurried back to report. They got that boy stripped mother naked and they're scrubbing him with your brand-new loofah.I winced. Thirty-seven ninety-nine at The Bo...
I can't believe your boss tried to kill you, too, Jessica said. I mean, I know they're trying to keep the unemployment rate down, but that's ridiculous.Most people think their bosses are out to get th...
Here I am, just wandering down a deserted street in the middle of the night. I hope I don't run into any trouble. Goodness, that would just ruin my whole evening. I strolled and hummed, trying to proj...
Zombieland reference, Jon said, nodding.How do you know that? That's a thousand-year-old reference! I looked at laura. I can't think of a single movie from a thousand years ago.Uh...Betsy...Don't say...
You do not go near them. You do not allow them to touch you. If one does touch you, I will eat his spine. It's good, she commented, that we're establishing rules. For instance, being a newcomer here,...
My my Laura Goodman. I must say that is a charming name for a charming young lady.Eric's old. I broke in. Really really old.Er— really? Laura asked. Gosh you don't look even out of your thirties. Tons...