Kurt Vonnegut Jr. Quotes

Now, during our catastrophically idiotic war in Vietnam, the music kept getting better and better and better. We lost that war, by the way. Order couldn’t be restored in Indochina until the people kic...

I don't know about you, but I practice a disorganized religion. I belong to an unholy disorder. We call ourselves "Our Lady of the Perpetual Astonishment

Do you realize that all great literature is all about what a bummer it is to be a human being? Isn't it such a relief to have somebody say that?

Rented a tent, a tent, a tent; Rented a tent, a tent, a tent. Rented a tent! Rented a tent! Rented a, rented a tent.

I didn’t really steal it. I just borrowed it for all eternity

I can only reply that the secret to success in every human endeavor is total concentration. Ask any great athlete.

Him! Him! Captain Eliot Rosewater–Silver Star, Bronze Star, Soldier's Medal, and Purple Heart with Cluster! Sailing champion! Ski champion! Him! Him! My God–the number of times life has said, 'Yes, ye...

Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I kno...

Когда я загнал свой космический корабль в хроно-синкластический инфундибулум, меня мгновенно озарило сознание, что все когда-либо бывшее пребудет вечно. а все, что будет, существовало испокон веков.

Job left vacant two weeks ago by death—the managership of the Pittsburgh Works. How gay can a party get?

That's what attracts us to serious paintings, I think: that shortfall, which we might call personality, or maybe even pain.

I speak gibberish to the civilized world and it replies in kind.

Live by the harmless untruths that make you brave and kind and healthy and happy.

Era gente spregevole, quella di Sodoma e Gomorra, come tutti sanno. Il mondo stava meglio senza di loro. E alla moglie di Lot, naturalmente, fu detto di non voltarsi indietro a guardare il luogo dove...

Я ЖЕРТВА ЦЕПИ НЕСЧАСТНЫХ СЛУЧАЙНОСТЕЙ, КАК И ВСЕ МЫ.

The second hand on my watch would twitch once, and a year would pass, and then it would twitch again.

Life is divided up into phases, he said. Each one is very different from the others, and you have to be able to recognize what is expected of you in each phase. That’s the secret of successful living.

It might make me seem more human at this point, which is to say more sympathetic, if I were to declare that I itched and blinked and nearly swooned with a feeling of unreality. Sorry. Not so. I confes...

One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.

I’ve brought scientific thinking to literature. There’s been very little gratitude for this.