Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil.
No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
After a fellow gets famous it doesn't take long for someone to bob up that used to sit by him in school.
The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.
Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience.
Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.
If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.
If there's anything a public servant hates to do it's something for the public.
A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.
A bee is never as busy as it seems it's just that it can't buzz any slower.
Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.
Gossip is vice enjoyed vicariously - the sweet subtle satisfaction without the risk.
Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.
An optimist is a fellow who believes what's going to be will be postponed.
There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?
Some fellows pay a compliment like they expected a receipt.
The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.
Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out any quicker than the Christmas spirit
Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.