Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.
A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug.
There are people who are always anticipating trouble and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen.
It ain't no disgrace for a man to fall but to lie there and grunt is.
Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you do hold well.
It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squ...
The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.
If you ever find happiness by hunting for it you will find it as the old woman did her lost spectacles safe on her nose all the time.
If it wasn't for faith there would be no living in this world we couldn't even eat hash with any safety.
The happiest time in any man's life is when he is in red-hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it.
The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.
Most men would rather be charged with malice than with making a blunder.
My advice to those who are about to begin in earnest the journey of life is to take their heart in one hand and a club in the other.
It ain't so much trouble to get rich as it is to tell when we have got rich.
It is not only the most difficult thing to know oneself but the most inconvenient too.
The trouble ain't that people are ignorant: it's that they know so much that ain't so.
Don't mistake pleasures for happiness. They are a different breed of dog.
The truly innocent are those who not only are guiltless themselves but who think others are.