John Swartzwelder Quote

I was just turning away to leave when I noticed a slight distortion in the air in the shape of a hole at the point where Blinky had disappeared. It was so faint you couldn’t see it if you were looking directly at it. You had to kind of catch it out of the corner of your eye. I put my hand in the middle of this distortion and not only did my hand vanish, but I could feel it being sucked down deeper into the hole. I yanked it out, after some effort. Then I put an eye to the hole. Same thing happened. What was going on here? I looked around, found a cat, and experimentally tossed it in. The cat disappeared, and moments later an ancient statue of the cat approving an important law appeared on the street nearby.

John Swartzwelder

I was just turning away to leave when I noticed a slight distortion in the air in the shape of a hole at the point where Blinky had disappeared. It was so faint you couldn’t see it if you were looking directly at it. You had to kind of catch it out of the corner of your eye. I put my hand in the middle of this distortion and not only did my hand vanish, but I could feel it being sucked down deeper into the hole. I yanked it out, after some effort. Then I put an eye to the hole. Same thing happened. What was going on here? I looked around, found a cat, and experimentally tossed it in. The cat disappeared, and moments later an ancient statue of the cat approving an important law appeared on the street nearby.

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About John Swartzwelder

John Joseph Swartzwelder Jr. (born February 8, 1949) is an American comedy writer and novelist, best known for his work on the animated television series The Simpsons. Born in Seattle, Washington, Swartzwelder began his career working in advertising. He was later hired to work on comedy series Saturday Night Live in the mid-1980s as a writer. He later contributed to fellow writer George Meyer's short-lived Army Man magazine, which led him to join the original writing team of The Simpsons, beginning in 1989.
He worked on The Simpsons as a writer and producer until 2003, and later contributed to The Simpsons Movie. He wrote the largest number of Simpsons episodes (59 full episodes, with contributions to several others) by a large margin. After his retirement from the show, he began a career as a writer of self-published absurdist novels. He has written more than a dozen novels, the most recent of which, The Spy with No Pants, was published in December 2020.
Swartzwelder is revered among comedy fans and his colleagues. He is known for his reclusiveness, and gave his first-ever interview in 2021, in The New Yorker. Per Mike Sacks, "Swartzwelder’s specialty on The Simpsons was conjuring dark characters from a strange, old America: banjo-playing hobos, cigarette-smoking ventriloquist dummies, nineteenth-century baseball players, rat-tailed carnival children, and pantsless, singing old-timers."