John Green Quote

We should do something, I said. Can the something be play blind-guy video games while sitting on the couch? Yeah, that’s just the kind of something I had in mind. So we sat there for a couple hours talking to the screen together, navigating this invisible labyrinthine cave without a single lumen of light. The most entertaining part of the game by was far trying to get the computer to engage with us in humorous conversation: Me: Touch the cave wall. Computer: You touch the cave wall. It is moist. Isaac: Lick the cave wall. Computer: I do not understand. Repeat? Me: Hump the cave wall. Computer: You attempt to jump. You hit your head. Isaac: Not jump. HUMP. Computer: I don’t understand. Isaac: Dude, I’ve been alone in the dark in this cave for weeks and I need some relief. HUMP THE CAVE WALL. Computer: You attempt to ju— Me: Thrust pelvis against cave wall. Computer: I do not— Isaac: Make sweet love to the cave. Computer: I do not— Me: FINE. Follow left branch. Computer: You follow the left branch. The passage narrows. Me: Crawl. Computer: You crawl for one hundred yards. The passage narrows. Me: Snake crawl. Computer: You snake crawl for thirty yards. A trickle of water runs down your body. You reach a mound of small rocks blocking the passageway. Me: Can I hump the cave now? Computer: You cannot jump without standing. Isaac: I dislike living in a world without Augustus Waters. Computer: I don’t understand— Isaac: Me neither. Pause.