Rich old people are more attractive than poor old people, so by all means, try to get rich before age sets in. Otherwise, you'll just be playing catch-up for the rest of your life and that will just w...
The lesson of the Funk Dog: You can forget what it used to feel like to feel good about life; feeling rotten—or just a low-grad funk—seems normal and therefore acceptable. I just don’t believe that Go...
Stay fit and live long and prosper, but write your own obituary now, while you can, just in case.
Pre-forty, you can wash your face with Tide and use Vaseline for moisturizer, toss on a little mascara and lip gloss, and you're a friggin' cover girl. Those of us on the slippery slope that is the Ot...
We read in the paper about a fifty-five-year-old woman-you read right, that's fifty five- who had quadruplets! Since the pregnancy was in vitro, it was clearly on purpose. I've got to tell you, we wer...
FINANCIAL TIPFor guys-- buying the stupid flowers when you're supposed to will be way cheaper than what you'll have to buy and do to make up for it if you forget.
So, whoever you are out there who’s convinced all these guys to commit this hair-trocity—why not push it a little further and get ’em to go all-out-Ed-Grimley and start wearing their pants up under th...
Life. It’s your birthday present. Open it up and play with it. Act like you like it. (The One who gave it to you is watching, after all. Don’t wanna hurt His feelings.) And if you don’t like your life...
Michael’s Magical Sweet Potato Muffins WHISK TOGETHER 1 cup dark brown sugar, 1/2 cup oil, 1 running-over teaspoon vanilla, and 2 eggs. Then, in another bowl, mix together 2 cups all-purpose flour, 2...
If some area of your life sucks - do something else. Life is too short - and too long - to spend it being miserable. Life may indeed be short but it is for a fact wide. It is high time we started sett...
It’s vitally important that you buy your own crown and declare yourself Queen, and then spend the rest of your life living into that.
Daddy always pointed out, it should come as no surprises to anyone that merchants want to move their wares-it's sorta what they do, after all. But that's just BUSINESS and that has nothing to do with...
I am surprised that Chicago—the Big-Shouldered City—is so trifling that they won’t let you eat in a restaurant if it’s on fire. Even if you already paid.
There is a difference between denial and delusion. The difference is that denial is a fun game and delusion is pitiable and requires meds that you will be too delusional to enjoy.
Always wear pretty underwear, on account of you just never know.
Cheap jewelry, however, is worse than no jewelry at all, and there are very few things in life than are worse than no jewelry at all.
Likewise, she will know that if I start watching reality TV, quoting Dr. Phil, riding roller coasters, and seem to have forsaken bacon in favor of anything soy—it’s time to Get the Pillow. That’s what...
Sure, I’ve heard the weight-loss gurus spouting their nothing tastes as good as being thin feels mantra, and as I’ve said before—BULLSHIT. The times in my life when I have been thin, I enjoyed it well...
But, if you've decided to go out on a limb and kill one, for goodness' sake, be prepared. We all read, with dismay, the sad story of a good woman wronged in south Mississippi who took that option and...
Queen of the Night Salsa 2.0 This is a jazzed-up version of an earlier recipe from our Precious Darlin’ George. He is ever seeking new and more delicious ways to please us and we adore him for this an...
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