Daddy always pointed out, it should come as no surprises to anyone that merchants want to move their wares-it's sorta what they do, after all. But that's just BUSINESS and that has nothing to do with...
Rich old people are more attractive than poor old people, so by all means, try to get rich before age sets in. Otherwise, you'll just be playing catch-up for the rest of your life and that will just w...
Stay fit and live long and prosper, but write your own obituary now, while you can, just in case.
We read in the paper about a fifty-five-year-old woman-you read right, that's fifty five- who had quadruplets! Since the pregnancy was in vitro, it was clearly on purpose. I've got to tell you, we wer...
I believe that the ability to laugh at oneself is fundamental to the resiliency of the human spirit.
The lesson of the Funk Dog: You can forget what it used to feel like to feel good about life; feeling rotten—or just a low-grad funk—seems normal and therefore acceptable. I just don’t believe that Go...
Pre-forty, you can wash your face with Tide and use Vaseline for moisturizer, toss on a little mascara and lip gloss, and you're a friggin' cover girl. Those of us on the slippery slope that is the Ot...
FINANCIAL TIPFor guys-- buying the stupid flowers when you're supposed to will be way cheaper than what you'll have to buy and do to make up for it if you forget.
They know they're supposed to do something, but they're not sure what. And you know what they do when they're not sure-- of course you do: They either do the wrong thing or they do nothing, and it's a...
But, if you've decided to go out on a limb and kill one, for goodness' sake, be prepared. We all read, with dismay, the sad story of a good woman wronged in south Mississippi who took that option and...
Sure, I’ve heard the weight-loss gurus spouting their nothing tastes as good as being thin feels mantra, and as I’ve said before—BULLSHIT. The times in my life when I have been thin, I enjoyed it well...
Try to avoid getting involved with somebody who's gonna need killing before it's over. It may seem to you that that narrows the field somewhat, but be diligent.
Life. It’s your birthday present. Open it up and play with it. Act like you like it. (The One who gave it to you is watching, after all. Don’t wanna hurt His feelings.) And if you don’t like your life...
I am surprised that Chicago—the Big-Shouldered City—is so trifling that they won’t let you eat in a restaurant if it’s on fire. Even if you already paid.
Michael’s Magical Sweet Potato Muffins WHISK TOGETHER 1 cup dark brown sugar, 1/2 cup oil, 1 running-over teaspoon vanilla, and 2 eggs. Then, in another bowl, mix together 2 cups all-purpose flour, 2...
Cheap jewelry, however, is worse than no jewelry at all, and there are very few things in life than are worse than no jewelry at all.
It’s vitally important that you buy your own crown and declare yourself Queen, and then spend the rest of your life living into that.
If some area of your life sucks - do something else. Life is too short - and too long - to spend it being miserable. Life may indeed be short but it is for a fact wide. It is high time we started sett...
Always wear pretty underwear, on account of you just never know.
Likewise, she will know that if I start watching reality TV, quoting Dr. Phil, riding roller coasters, and seem to have forsaken bacon in favor of anything soy—it’s time to Get the Pillow. That’s what...