Janet Evanovich Quotes

Ferrell.

Grandma was wearing a blond Marilyn Monroe wig, a hot pink tank top, black Pilates pants, and black kitten heels. She looked like the senior version of an inflatable sex toy doll that needed more air.

He exposed himself,' I said. 'Men aren't supposed to go around exposing themselves at unsuspecting women.''Well, technically none of us was unsuspecting,' Grandma said. 'We wait for him to show up. I...

He rooted for the Mets, he wore Foot of the Loom underwear, and he drove a Buick. His loyalties were carved in stone and he wasn't about to be impressed with some upstart of a toaster salesman who dro...

He specializes in virgins! The brush of his fingertips turns virgins into slobbering mush. Mary Lou Molnar

He’s sort of a homeless horse, I said.I’m leaving for the airport in two seconds, and I won’t be back for a couple days. You can put the horse in the garage, but I don’t want that horse in my apartmen...

How did you know about the fire? I asked Morelli. Dispatch called me. They always call me when your car explodes or goes up in flames.

How'd you get her to leave? Told her I was gonna spend the next twelve hours ruining you for all other men, and so she might as well go home. I could feel the heat rush to my face. Ranger gave me the...

I always listen, Ranger said. I don’t always agree. I have a problem right now that I can’t seem to solve by myself. I need you to help me find my daughter. And there’s an even bigger problem involved...

I can’t help it. I’m just a big gasbag. I still got leftover barbecue gas. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. Excuse me, she said.

I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.

I sent Hal and Rafael to keep an eye on you, and I went to check on a commercial account in Whitehorse. Rafael called to tell me Lula went in with a rocket launcher, so I skipped Whitehorse. I pulled...

I shuddered at the mention of Mrs. Steiger.What's that about? Ranger asked.Mrs. Steiger is the Antichrist.Damn, Ranger said. I left my Antichrist gun at home.Looks like you brought everything else.Nev...

I stuck my tongue out at him because I was feeling exceptionally mature.

I think you should go shopping first. I like when you bring all that kinky stuff home.

I thought your mother liked me. My grandmother likes you. My mother worries that you might be related to Satan.

I wasn’t sure anymore what made a good marriage. There had to be love, of course, but there were so many different kinds of love. And clearly, some love was more enduring than others.

I’ll have one of my men drop a car off for you. Thanks. I’ll try not to lose it. If you can manage to keep it intact for a week, it’s yours. If it gets stolen, blown up, crushed by a garbage truck, se...

I’m on my way, Ranger said. I’m about ten minutes from Quaker Bridge. I’ll call when I have her.

Life is a journey, not a destination, Emerson said. One must live in the moment.