Shirley's gonna be pissed, Gazarra said. She hates when I get shot. To my recollection, the only other time Gazarra was shot was when he was playing quick draw in the police station elevator and his g...
She’d expected Emerson Knight to look like Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory.
Say what? There's no 'and he got naked and waved his magic wand?''Nope,' Connie said. 'No magic wand. She didn't get to see the wand.''Well, you know he got one,' Lula said. 'How come he didn't wave i...
Sally put his gun back in his pants. Guess I flunked the estrogen test.We all stared at his crotch, and Grandma said what Lula and I were thinking.I thought that bulge was your dingdong,Grandma said.J...
Riley reminded herself that she was a professional, and stabbing Emerson with her nail file wouldn’t be appropriate.
Ranger was the second biggest complication in my life, and now that Morelli was out of the picture, I supposed Ranger was elevated to numero uno. He’s close to six foot, one way or the other, is Latin...
Ranger was slouched on the couch, watching a ball game. Bob was beside him, his big shaggy orange Bob head resting on Ranger’s leg.
Ranger slung an arm around my shoulders and kissed me on the top of my head. Someday I need to talk to you about car care. I know about car care. I kept a case of motor oil in the back. That’s my girl...
Ramos drank a shot, then he lit up and dragged the smoke deep into his lungs. 'Ahh, he said on the exhale. Sometimes I envy people who smoke. They always look so happy when they suck in that first lun...
Problem was, I just didn’t know if I was ready for marriage. Marriage is scary stuff. You have to share a bathroom. What’s with that? And what about fantasies?
Princeton isn't actually part of New Jersey. It's a small island of wealth and intellectual eccentricity floating in the Sea of Central Megalopolis. It's an honest-to-god town awash in the land of the...
Powder blue is a sissy color.
One of the men gave Butch a bunch of volts with a stun gun. The Rangeman didn’t move fast enough, and Butch grabbed the gun and threw it across the room. Hunh, Rangeman guy said. Yeah, I said. Been th...
Okay, but who knows what happens at night? They could come alive like the zombies. I turned the corner and drove to my parents’ house. You need cake. Hell, yeah.
Okay, I know he was captain of the football team and he could bake a cake—that didn’t mean I was ready to suck his finger. I was picky about what I put in my mouth. I’ll wait, I told him. Wouldn’t wan...
Oh my God. You're going to Julie Morelli's wedding! It's true about you and Joe.What about me and Joe?I heard you were living with him.I had a fire in my apartment, and I rented a room from him for a...
Not that I've noticed. She looked down at my gun. What a nice Glock. My sister carries a Glock, and she just loves it. I was thinking about trading in my .45, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. My...
No way, she said. The lid was already up. Did you stick the dead guy with a pin to make sure he was dead? I didn’t do that either. And I only did that once,
Nice to see a pretty girl stopping by, even if it is just business. And look at you with all that curly red hair and big brown eyes. And you got a nose that’s cute as a button. I bet you work out too.
My son never eats baloney. He says the stuff in baloney will kill you. I say when? I’ve got cataracts, high blood pressure, enlarged prostate, skin cancer, hemorrhoids, an artificial hip, false teeth,...