Janet Evanovich Quotes

I'd kiss you, but you smell like a gym bag.

I'm a firm believer in denial. My reasoning is why deal with unpleasantness today when you could get hit by a bus tomorrow. And if you procrastinate long enough, maybe the issue will go away.

If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert.

If Lula was a pastry she’d be a big chocolate cupcake with a lot of frosting. I’d be more of a croissant with a ponytail.

If you buy chocolate with loose change the calories don’t count.

If you had told somebody in the year 1800 that there were invisible things called germs and that they were responsible for the common cold, he would have thought that you were crazy and believed in ma...

In my father’s scheme of things, there were Italians and then there was the rest of the world.

Is that why you have hand grenades and a garrote in your nightstand?They're sleep aids.

It is written by the Sage that you, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.

It means that he looks like my boyfriend, but I don’t say it out loud.

It was a weird sensation. Like getting caught eavesdropping, or lying, or sitting on the toilet and having the bathroom walls suddenly drop away.

It was one of the biggest mansions in Washington, D.C., and it was appropriately called Mysterioso Manor. Emerson Knight, the resident owner, was appropriately known as a nutcase.

It would be difficult to tell, Wulf said. I've always been a romantic. I've seen Casablanca twice, and I sat through the entire ordeal of Titanic.Didn't you enjoy Titanic?I was relieved when the ship...

It's a penis,' Grandma said. 'Stephanie got it in the mail. It's a pretty good one too.

It's fucking hard to be classy

Its always nice to have a stud muffin at the table.

It’s good to have a Ranger, Lula said. He’s like a personal Spidey.

I’ll be real discreet, Tank said. As discreet as a six-foot-six, no-neck guy weighing three hundred and fifty pounds, all dressed in black SWAT clothes, with a Glock holstered at his side could be.

I’ll have Ella order some Rangeman shirts for you. If you decide to go back to Vinnie you can keep the shirts. Ranger almost smiled. I like the idea of you wearing my name on your breast.

I’m a glass-is-half-full person now, and your sorry ass is still in half-empty country.