Janet Evanovich Quotes

Unzipping that body bag didn’t bother me, Ranger said, but I’m going to have nightmares over this casino.

Ranger keeps small Third World countries secure.

Honey, Half the women in NJ have sold him their cannolli -Conie to Stephanie about Joe Morelli (One for the money)

Guess I left the wrong hole empty. She leaned forward to examine her handiwork. Not bad for my first time with a gun. I shot that sucker right in the gumpy.

She knew that the Germans were unhappy, but like everyone else, she thought Germans were always unhappy.

I had eight Chihuahuas and a gun in my hand. Could it get any more ridiculous?

Morelli grabbed the front of my shirt, pulled me to him, and kissed me. It was a great kiss, but I didn't know what the heck it meant. It seemed to me a breaking up kiss would have had less tongue.

Just make sure you’re not withholding information, Sandeman. Your parole officer might find it annoying. He gave me a shot to the shoulder that knocked me back a foot. Somebody yanks my parole officer...

He hasn’t cut his hair in at least ten years. For all I know that was also the last time he washed it.

Morelli smiled. It could have been Jenny Ragucci. That makes much more sense. I had good luck with sluts.I looked over at him.All in the past, Morelli said. I'm a cupcake man now.Whoa, dude, Mooner sa...

My mother said when she opened the door to me. It's no wonder we have so much crime today what with these short skirts. How can you sit in a skirt like that? Everyone can see everything. It's two inch...

When I was a little girl I wanted to be a reindeer-the flying kind. I spent a couple years galloping around looking for lichen and fantasizing about boy reindeer. Then one day I saw Peter Pan and my r...

I knew there were no such things as death cooties. Unfortunately, that's an intellectual fact. And death cooties are an emotional reality.

I’m not driving you anymore, Lula said to me. Every time I take you somewhere, people shoot at us. Not every time.

I am just a simple monk. The sun shines on the just and unjust alike. If the sun does not judge, then who am I to do so?

That shooting gave me an appetite, she said. Somebody pass

My father was in the kitchen putting a new washer in the kitchen faucet. He looked relieved to see Morelli standing in the hallway. He'd probably prefer I bring home someone useful, like a butcher or...

Ranger’s Cayenne pulled in behind the SUV. Ranger got out, scooped me up off the ground, and held me close.

It was a Geek Squad badge from Best Buy.

What's with the super soaker? -StephineI had a stork of genius when you called me this morning I said what do I have to do to protect myself from the vampire? And the answer that came to me was holy w...