Cool Beans.
DIAGRAMMING MY DEATH SENTENCE
Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives.—A. Sachs
Did you ever hear the story of the man who walks past the mental hospital? he said. He can hear all the patients inside shouting, ‘Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!,’ but the fence is too high for him to...
Disney World. You’ve probably been. I’m assuming that most of America has been there, because you all seemed to be there the day that we went. All of you at the same time.
Disney World? Ari felt like his head was about to explode. Disney World? His gravelly voice rose into a harsh shriek. They’re not on vacation! They’re on the run! They’re running for their lives! Deat...
Disproportionate.
Do I open it? Do I open it? Of course I freaking open it!
Don't even become a cynic. Anything but that!
Don’t worry, I didn’t forget I’m a loser, Loser, I said as I zoomed down the hall. DID YOU JUST CALL ME A LOSER? Bear roared back.
Dreams suck. You think you’ve conquered something, you work on it over and over and tell yourself you’re getting better, you will yourself to get better, you congratulate yourself on getting better. A...
Each person here, except me, was living out his worst nightmare, facing his biggest fear—even the dog. It was under a counter, staring horror-stricken at a bowl of generic dog food. I
Every other person in the world would have looked at it and thought, Max would hate this. It was girly. It was beautiful. It wasn't made of titanium and black leather with spikes on it. But it seemed...
Fang (sarcasticaly): Go pick out a tree and I'll carve our initials in it.Max: (screams and goes in the bathroom)
Fang looked at me, hope in his eyes, and I smirked at him. I save the huge emotional kissy-face for imminent death scenes. This probably didn't qualify.
Flying monkeys? the Gasman called out a guess. Like in the Wizard of Oz?It dawned on me then. No, I said tersely Worse.
Fortunately, we could all see pretty well in the dark. Especially Iggy.
Gazzy: What does that mean? (points to metal plaque warning to stay off the third rail that said Stay off the third rail!)Fang: It means the third rail has seven hundred volts of direct current runnin...
HYSTERICAL HISTORY Bumping into Vincent O’Neil makes me think about what Uncle Frankie said. I need new material for Boston, not Vincent’s stale and stinky fart jokes from The Big Book of Butt Bugles...
He grinned at me so unexpectedly I forgot to flap for a second and dropped several feet.You looove me, he crooned smugly holding his arms out wide, he added,You love me this much.
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