Jack Handy Quotes

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

Jack Handy

Tags: funny, humor, humour, screaming, trees

If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that's another weakness.

Jack Handy

If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that's another weakness.

Jack Handy

Tags: inspiration, strength, weakness

About Author

Jack Handey (born February 25, 1949) is an American humorist. He is best known for his "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey", a large body of surrealistic one-liner jokes, as well as his "Fuzzy Memories" and "My Big Thick Novel" shorts, and for his deadpan delivery. Although many assume otherwise, Handey is a real person, not a pen name or character.

Sometimes I think the world has gone completely mad. And then I think, "Aw, who cares?" And then I think, "Hey, what's for supper?

Jack Handy

Sometimes I think the world has gone completely mad. And then I think, "Aw, who cares?" And then I think, "Hey, what's for supper?

Jack Handy

Tags: humorous