“ The Union is what needs defending this year. Government of Enron and by Halliburton and for the Southern Baptists is not the same as what Lincoln spoke of. This gang of Republicans has humbugged us to… Garrison Keillor
“ I'm not busy... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think my schedule looked so busy. Garrison Keillor
“ I write for a radio show that, no matter what, will go on the air Saturday at five o'clock central time. You learn to write toward that deadline, to let the adrenaline pick you up on Friday morning an… Garrison Keillor
“ The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. Garrison Keillor
“ A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded gun on your coffee table- There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about. Garrison Keillor
“ I was an English major at the University of Minnesota, and I was very shy, which many people misinterpreted as intelligence. On the basis of that wrong impression, I became the editor of the campus li… Garrison Keillor
“ Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people. Garrison Keillor
“ Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. Garrison Keillor
“ Three people were going to the guillotine. The first was a lawyer, who was led to the platform, blindfolded, and had his head put on the block. The executioner pulled the lanyard, but nothing happened… Garrison Keillor
“ Do you think it’s right for Christians to use the names of pagan gods for the days of the week? Garrison Keillor
“ Some people have a love of their fellow man in their hearts, and others require a light anesthetic. Garrison Keillor
“ We are one country, and I remain a proud Unionist, happy to sing The Star-Spangled Banner and pledge allegiance, sing about the amber waves of grain, wish I was in the land of cotton, pick my teeth wi… Garrison Keillor
“ They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days. Garrison Keillor
