The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.
My main point is to be funny if I can slip a message in there, fine.
Funny is not a color. Being black is only good from the time you get from the curtain to the microphone.
Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun.
You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine.
I think Mr. Wilson will have to be the rest of the way alone.
My happiest memory of childhood was my first birthday in reform school. This teacher took an interest in me. In fact, he gave me the first birthday presents I ever got: a box of Cracker Jacks and a ca...
Funny is an attitude.
The cost of living is going up while the chances of living are going down.
Things can be funny only when we are in fun. When we're 'dead earnest,' humor is the only thing that is dead.