Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.
Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.
Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.
Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.
A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.
A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!
Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.
If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.
Wisdom is the reward for a lifetime of listening when you would have preferred to talk.
The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.
Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.
A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.
Nostalgia: A device that removes the ruts and potholes from memory lane.
The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.
Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap.