Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.
If God drives a car, He'd drive a 1973 Ford LTD Brougham sedan with a claret-colored vinyl roof, with oxblood leather upholstery and an opera window.
We want our idols to be dead because it makes death a much less scary place.
I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore. They'll just get right to the point and rename three o'clock 'Pepsi.'
Before machines the only form of entertainment people really had was relationships.
Forget sex or politics or religion, loneliness is the subject that clears out a room.
Human beings are the only animal that thinks they change who they are simply by moving to a different place. Birds migrate, but it's not quite the same thing.
Men won't read any email from a woman that's over 200 words long.
Everybody has basically the same family, it's just reconfigured slightly differently from one to the next.
People are pretty forgiving when it comes to other people's families. The only family that ever horrifies you is your own.
A bland smile is like a green light at an intersection, it feels good when you get one, but you forget it the moment you're past it.
It's very strange that most people don't care if their knowledge of their family history only goes back three generations.
Sometimes the best lighting of all is a power failure.
If you don't have a spiritual practice in place when times are good, you can't expect to suddenly develop one during a moment of crisis.
The future and eternity are two entirely different things.
I think money is due for some sort of collapse. People are going to realize that money has a half-life, like radioactive elements.
People will always choose more money over more sex.
It also allows you to look as though you're not particularly from the present, future or past, either.
If you don't change, then what's the point of anything happening to you?
Most people have no idea how to politely answer a phone. The English do, and it's been their only major business advantage for the past two centuries.