She was at a cash register, screaming at a customer. She was, in fact, calling this customer a bitch. I touched her arm and said, I have to go now. She laid her hand on my shoulder, squeezed it gently...
The child opened her beak even wider, and the stork let out a moan. It really wouldn’t hurt you to take an interest in others, she said. I tell you I’m depressed, I tell you I feel cornered and lonely...
The dialogue fills the auditorium like an unrefrigerated boxcar of month-old steaks.
The one titled Romance included the following: Would you like a drink? You’re a fantastic dancer. You look like some cousin of mine. The latter would work only if you were Asian, but even then it’s a...
Then the flight attendants, garbage bags in hand, glided down the aisle, looking each one of us square in the face and whispering, without discrimination, Your trash. You’re trash. Your family’s trash...
There are only two places to get robbed: TV and the real world. On television you get your stuff back. In the real world, if you're lucky, the policeman who responds to your call will wonder what kind...
There’s a lot I don’t tell my father when he calls asking after Amy. He wouldn’t understand that she has no interest in getting married and was, in fact, quite happy to break up with her live-in boyfr...
Things began to come together, and I went from speaking like an evil baby to speaking like a hillbilly. Is thems the thoughts of cows? I’d ask the butcher, pointing to the calves’ brains displayed in...
This left me alone to solve the coffee problem - a sort of catch-22, as in order to think straight I need caffeine, and in order to make that happen I need to think straight.
When I was this kid's age, you'd be burned alive for such talk. Being a homosexual was unthinkable, and so you denied it, and found a girlfriend who was willing to settle for the sensitive type. On da...
Why go to a store when you could go to a museum? she might ask. Um, because the museum doesn’t sell shit? My sisters and I refuse to feel bad about shopping. And why should we? Obviously we have some...
You spend hours wrestling with yourself, trying to keep your vision intact, your intensity undiminished. Sometimes I have to stick my head under the tap to get my wits back. And for what? You know wha...
But all of a sudden they’re poets, right, like that’s all it takes — being in love.
Even if I were informed, what's the likelihood of changing anyone's opinion, especially a couple of strangers'? If my own little mind is nailed shut, why wouldn't theirs be?
A Dutch parent has a decidedly hairier story to relate, telling his children, Listen, you might want to pack a few of your things together before going to bed. The former bishop of Turkey will be comi...
After that there was nothing left to say as nothing gets on my nerves more than someone repeating the same phrase twice. I think it’s something people have picked up from television, this emotional st...
Back off, world. It’s time for me to be good to me.
But at the end of every show we would realize that true happiness often lies where you very least expect it. It might arrive in a form of a gentle breeze or a handful of peanuts, but when it came, we...
Cand ne certam, tehnica lui tata era intotdeauna sa nege dorintele pe care ni le exprimam. Doca voiai, sa zicem, un teanc de clatite, nu-ti spunea ca nu ti le ia, ci ca tu, de fapt, nici nu le voiai.S...
Cu exceptia Lisei, noi nu imbratisam pe nimeni. In ceea ce priveste confortul emotional, aveam convinderea ca niciun fel de contact fizic nu ar fi putut egala puterile vindecatoare ale unui cocktail b...
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